| Character Quote | Boyfriend Name | Woman He Dated |
| 'My face is clean, I'm wearing shoes and a shirt. Let's dance.' | |
| 'I'm a romantic. I just have so much feeling.' | |
| 'I guess old habits die hard.' | |
| 'Yeah, you are, but you're my ****.' | |
| 'Your two best friends just got screwed over by their guys, how could you not be distant.' | |
| 'I rarely think of the past. I only care of what will happen today, tonight, tomorrow.' | |
| 'I talked it over with my penis and we both agree.' | |
| 'I heard the weather this morning but they didn't say anything about a **** storm.' | |
| 'I have a life, I was just making room for you in it.' | |
| 'Now, do you sing to him.' | |
| 'Half-off. That's all it's called now, half-off.' | |