Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
The Worst Of Both Worlds
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
Okay, We Made This One Up
A Human Assembly Line
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
A Nation In Smithereens
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
The Bridebasket Of Europe
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
Escaping The American Dream
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
'F*** Everyone'
The Haiti Of Europe
Where Everything Is Legal
Definitely Possibly A Country
Keep Your Chin Up!
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
Oh, The Injustice!
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
South Africa's South Africa
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
The Empty Promised Land
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
One Nation Above God
The Distended Belly Of Africa
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
All Is Forbidden
Where People Go To Say They've Been
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
An Island Of Moochers
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Demoted To The Fourth World
Inhabitable By 2307
A Money-Rich Nation
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
Willing To Relocate For Work
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
All Better Now Thanks To You
From Rags To Tatters
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
God's Pratical Joke
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
True Rasta No Develop Country
How Low Can A Country Go?
Living High Off The Land
As Seen On Animal Planet
Running On Fumes
Living Fat Off The Land
The Horror...The Horror...
A Huge Waste Of Space
Europe's Basement
Still Searching For India
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
Terrorism's Farm Team
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
You'll Only Find It On A Map
Why Read About Suriname?
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
An Island Unto Itself
Allah's Cat Box
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
Earth's Crawlspace
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
Plight Of The Living Dead
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
A To-Go Nation
Workers Of The World, Survive!
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
United In Circular Dancing
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
A Mud Hole
We Have No Beaches
Partners In War Crime
About Uzbekistan
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
Bram Stoker's Romania
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
Don't Breathe The Air
Goodbye, Cruel World
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
They Had It Coming
President Bongo's Private Residence
By Estee Lauder
No Child Left Alive
Badly In Need Of A Savior
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Made In Taiwan
Properties Available, Inquire Today
Neutral...Too Neutral
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
A Bad Neighborhood
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
South America's Middleman
The Baltic Drainage Region
The Catholic Disneyland
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
Soon To Be Underwater
It's All Your Fault
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
Please Don't Feed The Humans
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
A Mystical Land Of Junk
The Completist's Genocide
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
Ruled By Lemurs
The Land of Opportunism
An Agoraphobic's Hell
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
Unstable At Last
A Popular Nuke Destination
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
On Loan From The U.S.
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
It's A Winter Wonderland!
#1 At Being #2
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
What Are You Looking At?
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
Free Admission On Sundays
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
One Doesn't Blow
No Fat Chicks
Right On The Equatorish
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere

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Created Jan 1, 2010Editor's PickReportNominate
Tags:country, world, dumb, entry, onion, subheading, The Onion