Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
The Bridebasket Of Europe
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
No Fat Chicks
A Nation In Smithereens
What Are You Looking At?
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
One Doesn't Blow
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
An Island Of Moochers
Inhabitable By 2307
On Loan From The U.S.
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
President Bongo's Private Residence
How Low Can A Country Go?
Where People Go To Say They've Been
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
Partners In War Crime
Plight Of The Living Dead
You'll Only Find It On A Map
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
An Agoraphobic's Hell
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
It's A Winter Wonderland!
Where Everything Is Legal
A Mystical Land Of Junk
They Had It Coming
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
The Horror...The Horror...
The Land of Opportunism
About Uzbekistan
South Africa's South Africa
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
Properties Available, Inquire Today
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
South America's Middleman
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
Living High Off The Land
Workers Of The World, Survive!
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
As Seen On Animal Planet
Don't Breathe The Air
It's All Your Fault
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
Earth's Crawlspace
The Distended Belly Of Africa
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
A Human Assembly Line
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
Escaping The American Dream
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Unstable At Last
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
The Empty Promised Land
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Neutral...Too Neutral
All Is Forbidden
Right On The Equatorish
The Baltic Drainage Region
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
A Mud Hole
Allah's Cat Box
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
The Catholic Disneyland
One Nation Above God
Still Searching For India
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
Badly In Need Of A Savior
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
Made In Taiwan
A Popular Nuke Destination
Running On Fumes
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
We Have No Beaches
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
Please Don't Feed The Humans
Bram Stoker's Romania
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
Soon To Be Underwater
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
Europe's Basement
The Completist's Genocide
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
Goodbye, Cruel World
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
God's Pratical Joke
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
No Child Left Alive
A Money-Rich Nation
A To-Go Nation
Oh, The Injustice!
Ruled By Lemurs
Why Read About Suriname?
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
Definitely Possibly A Country
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
Okay, We Made This One Up
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
All Better Now Thanks To You
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
The Worst Of Both Worlds
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
The Haiti Of Europe
An Island Unto Itself
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
A Huge Waste Of Space
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
United In Circular Dancing
Terrorism's Farm Team
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
From Rags To Tatters
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
Living Fat Off The Land
Willing To Relocate For Work
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
'F*** Everyone'
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
True Rasta No Develop Country
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
A Bad Neighborhood
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
#1 At Being #2
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
Keep Your Chin Up!
By Estee Lauder
Demoted To The Fourth World
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
Free Admission On Sundays

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