Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
How Low Can A Country Go?
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
A Popular Nuke Destination
A Money-Rich Nation
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
Running On Fumes
Living Fat Off The Land
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
'F*** Everyone'
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
Still Searching For India
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
United In Circular Dancing
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
All Is Forbidden
Why Read About Suriname?
Plight Of The Living Dead
They Had It Coming
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
Bram Stoker's Romania
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
Please Don't Feed The Humans
The Empty Promised Land
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
A Huge Waste Of Space
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
An Island Unto Itself
Terrorism's Farm Team
The Baltic Drainage Region
The Land of Opportunism
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
What Are You Looking At?
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Allah's Cat Box
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
All Better Now Thanks To You
Don't Breathe The Air
On Loan From The U.S.
An Agoraphobic's Hell
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
Unstable At Last
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
Oh, The Injustice!
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
It's A Winter Wonderland!
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
One Doesn't Blow
No Child Left Alive
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
True Rasta No Develop Country
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
Demoted To The Fourth World
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
Keep Your Chin Up!
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
An Island Of Moochers
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
South America's Middleman
You'll Only Find It On A Map
The Completist's Genocide
President Bongo's Private Residence
Earth's Crawlspace
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
God's Pratical Joke
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
Willing To Relocate For Work
As Seen On Animal Planet
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
Badly In Need Of A Savior
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
Properties Available, Inquire Today
About Uzbekistan
A To-Go Nation
Made In Taiwan
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
The Horror...The Horror...
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
South Africa's South Africa
A Bad Neighborhood
Escaping The American Dream
A Human Assembly Line
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
Ruled By Lemurs
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
Partners In War Crime
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
Okay, We Made This One Up
The Haiti Of Europe
Definitely Possibly A Country
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
One Nation Above God
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
Where People Go To Say They've Been
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
Goodbye, Cruel World
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
A Mystical Land Of Junk
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
We Have No Beaches
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
Right On The Equatorish
The Catholic Disneyland
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
From Rags To Tatters
By Estee Lauder
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Living High Off The Land
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
The Worst Of Both Worlds
It's All Your Fault
Workers Of The World, Survive!
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
Soon To Be Underwater
No Fat Chicks
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
The Bridebasket Of Europe
Where Everything Is Legal
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
#1 At Being #2
The Distended Belly Of Africa
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
Inhabitable By 2307
A Nation In Smithereens
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
Neutral...Too Neutral
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
Europe's Basement
Free Admission On Sundays
A Mud Hole
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears

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