Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
Demoted To The Fourth World
Still Searching For India
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
Badly In Need Of A Savior
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
The Completist's Genocide
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
On Loan From The U.S.
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
Allah's Cat Box
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
Europe's Basement
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
The Baltic Drainage Region
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
Workers Of The World, Survive!
The Horror...The Horror...
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
Soon To Be Underwater
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
The Haiti Of Europe
All Is Forbidden
One Doesn't Blow
It's A Winter Wonderland!
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
How Low Can A Country Go?
A Nation In Smithereens
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
Plight Of The Living Dead
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
Why Read About Suriname?
Where People Go To Say They've Been
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
They Had It Coming
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
The Distended Belly Of Africa
Keep Your Chin Up!
Partners In War Crime
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
Ruled By Lemurs
Living High Off The Land
'F*** Everyone'
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
We Have No Beaches
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
Earth's Crawlspace
The Worst Of Both Worlds
About Uzbekistan
By Estee Lauder
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
A Money-Rich Nation
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
Terrorism's Farm Team
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Inhabitable By 2307
You'll Only Find It On A Map
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Made In Taiwan
A Mud Hole
The Catholic Disneyland
All Better Now Thanks To You
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
An Island Of Moochers
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
Please Don't Feed The Humans
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
What Are You Looking At?
South America's Middleman
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
An Island Unto Itself
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
Willing To Relocate For Work
A Bad Neighborhood
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
True Rasta No Develop Country
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
An Agoraphobic's Hell
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
Bram Stoker's Romania
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
Escaping The American Dream
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
No Child Left Alive
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
Right On The Equatorish
Running On Fumes
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
The Bridebasket Of Europe
President Bongo's Private Residence
Free Admission On Sundays
A Popular Nuke Destination
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
Living Fat Off The Land
Oh, The Injustice!
Properties Available, Inquire Today
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
Okay, We Made This One Up
A Human Assembly Line
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
From Rags To Tatters
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
The Land of Opportunism
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
South Africa's South Africa
As Seen On Animal Planet
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
The Empty Promised Land
Definitely Possibly A Country
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
It's All Your Fault
Neutral...Too Neutral
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
No Fat Chicks
A Mystical Land Of Junk
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
A Huge Waste Of Space
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
#1 At Being #2
Goodbye, Cruel World
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
A To-Go Nation
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
Unstable At Last
God's Pratical Joke
United In Circular Dancing
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
Don't Breathe The Air
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
Where Everything Is Legal
One Nation Above God

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