Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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SubheadingCountry
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
The Empty Promised Land
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
Neutral...Too Neutral
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
'F*** Everyone'
Don't Breathe The Air
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
As Seen On Animal Planet
Living High Off The Land
Living Fat Off The Land
The Completist's Genocide
Escaping The American Dream
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
An Agoraphobic's Hell
Soon To Be Underwater
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
By Estee Lauder
Goodbye, Cruel World
Free Admission On Sundays
No Fat Chicks
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
A Human Assembly Line
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
A Money-Rich Nation
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
It's All Your Fault
One Doesn't Blow
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
South Africa's South Africa
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
How Low Can A Country Go?
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
An Island Of Moochers
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
President Bongo's Private Residence
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
Properties Available, Inquire Today
One Nation Above God
SubheadingCountry
Allah's Cat Box
Okay, We Made This One Up
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
Earth's Crawlspace
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
Europe's Basement
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
All Is Forbidden
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
About Uzbekistan
What Are You Looking At?
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
Running On Fumes
Where Everything Is Legal
On Loan From The U.S.
From Rags To Tatters
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
You'll Only Find It On A Map
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
A Bad Neighborhood
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
Please Don't Feed The Humans
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
Willing To Relocate For Work
Where People Go To Say They've Been
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
They Had It Coming
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
Made In Taiwan
A Mystical Land Of Junk
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
Partners In War Crime
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
The Distended Belly Of Africa
A Mud Hole
Oh, The Injustice!
The Bridebasket Of Europe
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
It's A Winter Wonderland!
A Popular Nuke Destination
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
No Child Left Alive
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
Keep Your Chin Up!
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
SubheadingCountry
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
We Have No Beaches
A Huge Waste Of Space
The Land of Opportunism
Terrorism's Farm Team
Ruled By Lemurs
United In Circular Dancing
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
Workers Of The World, Survive!
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
A Nation In Smithereens
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
The Catholic Disneyland
South America's Middleman
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
A To-Go Nation
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
An Island Unto Itself
All Better Now Thanks To You
Right On The Equatorish
The Baltic Drainage Region
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
Unstable At Last
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
Plight Of The Living Dead
Why Read About Suriname?
Still Searching For India
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
Badly In Need Of A Savior
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
The Haiti Of Europe
Inhabitable By 2307
#1 At Being #2
The Worst Of Both Worlds
True Rasta No Develop Country
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
The Horror...The Horror...
God's Pratical Joke
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
Definitely Possibly A Country
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
Demoted To The Fourth World
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
Bram Stoker's Romania

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