Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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SubheadingCountry
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
A Mud Hole
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
Demoted To The Fourth World
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
Oh, The Injustice!
Neutral...Too Neutral
Please Don't Feed The Humans
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
Plight Of The Living Dead
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
Where Everything Is Legal
'F*** Everyone'
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Bram Stoker's Romania
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Badly In Need Of A Savior
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
Partners In War Crime
A Money-Rich Nation
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
The Land of Opportunism
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
Okay, We Made This One Up
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
A Human Assembly Line
All Better Now Thanks To You
A Nation In Smithereens
Willing To Relocate For Work
Workers Of The World, Survive!
An Island Unto Itself
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
The Bridebasket Of Europe
President Bongo's Private Residence
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
A To-Go Nation
One Doesn't Blow
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
From Rags To Tatters
The Empty Promised Land
True Rasta No Develop Country
It's A Winter Wonderland!
Allah's Cat Box
The Baltic Drainage Region
You Will Be Shot On Sight
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
SubheadingCountry
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
The Completist's Genocide
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
Terrorism's Farm Team
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
The Haiti Of Europe
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
One Nation Above God
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
Where People Go To Say They've Been
Properties Available, Inquire Today
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
The Distended Belly Of Africa
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
A Mystical Land Of Junk
Right On The Equatorish
South America's Middleman
On Loan From The U.S.
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
The Catholic Disneyland
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
An Island Of Moochers
You'll Only Find It On A Map
The Worst Of Both Worlds
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
They Had It Coming
Living High Off The Land
A Popular Nuke Destination
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
A Bad Neighborhood
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
Living Fat Off The Land
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
United In Circular Dancing
Free Admission On Sundays
What Are You Looking At?
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
South Africa's South Africa
No Child Left Alive
Goodbye, Cruel World
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
Definitely Possibly A Country
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
SubheadingCountry
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
Inhabitable By 2307
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
#1 At Being #2
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
Still Searching For India
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
An Agoraphobic's Hell
How Low Can A Country Go?
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
Escaping The American Dream
Unstable At Last
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
Earth's Crawlspace
God's Pratical Joke
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
A Huge Waste Of Space
Keep Your Chin Up!
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
Don't Breathe The Air
Running On Fumes
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
Soon To Be Underwater
Europe's Basement
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
No Fat Chicks
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
About Uzbekistan
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
It's All Your Fault
Ruled By Lemurs
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
Why Read About Suriname?
As Seen On Animal Planet
All Is Forbidden
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
Made In Taiwan
The Horror...The Horror...
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
By Estee Lauder
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
We Have No Beaches
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana

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Created Jan 1, 2010Editor's PickReportNominate
Tags:country, world, dumb, entry, onion, subheading, The Onion