Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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The Empty Promised Land
A Huge Waste Of Space
President Bongo's Private Residence
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Keep Your Chin Up!
No Child Left Alive
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
The Completist's Genocide
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
Partners In War Crime
Goodbye, Cruel World
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
Where People Go To Say They've Been
A Mud Hole
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
All Is Forbidden
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
Made In Taiwan
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
An Island Unto Itself
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Escaping The American Dream
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
The Haiti Of Europe
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
Ruled By Lemurs
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
They Had It Coming
Unstable At Last
You'll Only Find It On A Map
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
Badly In Need Of A Savior
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
Europe's Basement
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
One Doesn't Blow
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
Still Searching For India
God's Pratical Joke
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
The Worst Of Both Worlds
No Fat Chicks
A Human Assembly Line
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
#1 At Being #2
The Catholic Disneyland
A Mystical Land Of Junk
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
A To-Go Nation
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
United In Circular Dancing
Terrorism's Farm Team
True Rasta No Develop Country
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
Inhabitable By 2307
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
On Loan From The U.S.
Allah's Cat Box
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
Bram Stoker's Romania
As Seen On Animal Planet
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
A Bad Neighborhood
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
Running On Fumes
About Uzbekistan
An Agoraphobic's Hell
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
What Are You Looking At?
How Low Can A Country Go?
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
Free Admission On Sundays
All Better Now Thanks To You
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
The Land of Opportunism
One Nation Above God
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
By Estee Lauder
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
Plight Of The Living Dead
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
Demoted To The Fourth World
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
Okay, We Made This One Up
Please Don't Feed The Humans
Neutral...Too Neutral
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
Why Read About Suriname?
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
A Popular Nuke Destination
Properties Available, Inquire Today
A Money-Rich Nation
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
Don't Breathe The Air
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
'F*** Everyone'
Workers Of The World, Survive!
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
South America's Middleman
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
South Africa's South Africa
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
It's A Winter Wonderland!
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
Living Fat Off The Land
From Rags To Tatters
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
The Distended Belly Of Africa
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
The Horror...The Horror...
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
An Island Of Moochers
Willing To Relocate For Work
Right On The Equatorish
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
The Baltic Drainage Region
Where Everything Is Legal
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
It's All Your Fault
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
Soon To Be Underwater
A Nation In Smithereens
Oh, The Injustice!
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
Definitely Possibly A Country
We Have No Beaches
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
Living High Off The Land
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
Earth's Crawlspace
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
The Bridebasket Of Europe
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism

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