Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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Bram Stoker's Romania
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
Badly In Need Of A Savior
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
A Mud Hole
The Catholic Disneyland
Allah's Cat Box
Soon To Be Underwater
Unstable At Last
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
The Empty Promised Land
True Rasta No Develop Country
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
What Are You Looking At?
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
You'll Only Find It On A Map
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
It's All Your Fault
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
#1 At Being #2
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
An Agoraphobic's Hell
Partners In War Crime
Free Admission On Sundays
On Loan From The U.S.
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
Still Searching For India
A Huge Waste Of Space
Escaping The American Dream
Don't Breathe The Air
Running On Fumes
They Had It Coming
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
Where People Go To Say They've Been
How Low Can A Country Go?
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
Goodbye, Cruel World
One Nation Above God
Keep Your Chin Up!
United In Circular Dancing
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
Neutral...Too Neutral
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
Where Everything Is Legal
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
Inhabitable By 2307
The Worst Of Both Worlds
Ruled By Lemurs
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
Europe's Basement
We Have No Beaches
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
A Money-Rich Nation
The Horror...The Horror...
South Africa's South Africa
A Mystical Land Of Junk
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
God's Pratical Joke
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
South America's Middleman
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
All Is Forbidden
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
President Bongo's Private Residence
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
An Island Unto Itself
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
From Rags To Tatters
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
By Estee Lauder
Living High Off The Land
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
No Fat Chicks
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
A Bad Neighborhood
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
Definitely Possibly A Country
A Popular Nuke Destination
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
The Land of Opportunism
No Child Left Alive
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
The Baltic Drainage Region
It's A Winter Wonderland!
All Better Now Thanks To You
'F*** Everyone'
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
Workers Of The World, Survive!
The Haiti Of Europe
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
A To-Go Nation
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Willing To Relocate For Work
Demoted To The Fourth World
Terrorism's Farm Team
Right On The Equatorish
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
One Doesn't Blow
About Uzbekistan
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
An Island Of Moochers
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
The Bridebasket Of Europe
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
A Nation In Smithereens
As Seen On Animal Planet
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Plight Of The Living Dead
Oh, The Injustice!
A Human Assembly Line
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
The Distended Belly Of Africa
Living Fat Off The Land
Earth's Crawlspace
Please Don't Feed The Humans
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
Why Read About Suriname?
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
Properties Available, Inquire Today
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
Made In Taiwan
Okay, We Made This One Up
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
The Completist's Genocide

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Created Jan 1, 2010Editor's PickReportNominate
Tags:country, world, dumb, entry, onion, subheading, The Onion