Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
Plight Of The Living Dead
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
Badly In Need Of A Savior
Escaping The American Dream
Earth's Crawlspace
What Are You Looking At?
The Distended Belly Of Africa
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
Please Don't Feed The Humans
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
The Baltic Drainage Region
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
Ruled By Lemurs
A To-Go Nation
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
A Huge Waste Of Space
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
A Bad Neighborhood
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
Bram Stoker's Romania
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
President Bongo's Private Residence
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
Demoted To The Fourth World
Goodbye, Cruel World
From Rags To Tatters
Terrorism's Farm Team
The Completist's Genocide
Okay, We Made This One Up
Inhabitable By 2307
Europe's Basement
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
How Low Can A Country Go?
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
All Better Now Thanks To You
Right On The Equatorish
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
On Loan From The U.S.
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
Running On Fumes
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
It's All Your Fault
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
A Mud Hole
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
Living Fat Off The Land
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
Free Admission On Sundays
A Popular Nuke Destination
By Estee Lauder
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
True Rasta No Develop Country
One Doesn't Blow
The Haiti Of Europe
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
All Is Forbidden
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
You'll Only Find It On A Map
South Africa's South Africa
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
The Bridebasket Of Europe
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
Still Searching For India
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
'F*** Everyone'
Neutral...Too Neutral
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
No Fat Chicks
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
They Had It Coming
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
Don't Breathe The Air
A Human Assembly Line
Why Read About Suriname?
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
Properties Available, Inquire Today
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
A Mystical Land Of Junk
Made In Taiwan
Partners In War Crime
An Island Of Moochers
Keep Your Chin Up!
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Oh, The Injustice!
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
Living High Off The Land
A Money-Rich Nation
We Have No Beaches
Willing To Relocate For Work
As Seen On Animal Planet
Soon To Be Underwater
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
Allah's Cat Box
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
The Horror...The Horror...
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
The Land of Opportunism
Unstable At Last
God's Pratical Joke
One Nation Above God
About Uzbekistan
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
Where Everything Is Legal
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
The Catholic Disneyland
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
The Empty Promised Land
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Where People Go To Say They've Been
United In Circular Dancing
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
The Worst Of Both Worlds
Definitely Possibly A Country
It's A Winter Wonderland!
South America's Middleman
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
Workers Of The World, Survive!
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
An Agoraphobic's Hell
A Nation In Smithereens
An Island Unto Itself
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
#1 At Being #2
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
No Child Left Alive
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot

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Created Jan 1, 2010Editor's PickReportNominate
Tags:country, world, dumb, entry, onion, subheading, The Onion