Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Inhabitable By 2307
South Africa's South Africa
A Human Assembly Line
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
By Estee Lauder
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
You Will Be Shot On Sight
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
Badly In Need Of A Savior
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
Escaping The American Dream
A Huge Waste Of Space
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
Okay, We Made This One Up
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
Right On The Equatorish
Plight Of The Living Dead
No Child Left Alive
A Bad Neighborhood
The Distended Belly Of Africa
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
Made In Taiwan
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
Why Read About Suriname?
South America's Middleman
Bram Stoker's Romania
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
A Money-Rich Nation
Allah's Cat Box
All Is Forbidden
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
How Low Can A Country Go?
One Nation Above God
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
The Bridebasket Of Europe
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
Living High Off The Land
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
Don't Breathe The Air
The Empty Promised Land
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
A Nation In Smithereens
An Agoraphobic's Hell
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
An Island Of Moochers
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
On Loan From The U.S.
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
As Seen On Animal Planet
Terrorism's Farm Team
Goodbye, Cruel World
Oh, The Injustice!
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
Ruled By Lemurs
'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
A Popular Nuke Destination
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
President Bongo's Private Residence
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
We Have No Beaches
Neutral...Too Neutral
They Had It Coming
God's Pratical Joke
It's All Your Fault
Living Fat Off The Land
The Baltic Drainage Region
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
The Horror...The Horror...
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
The Land of Opportunism
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
'F*** Everyone'
Please Don't Feed The Humans
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
The Completist's Genocide
Soon To Be Underwater
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
What Are You Looking At?
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
Willing To Relocate For Work
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
True Rasta No Develop Country
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
The Catholic Disneyland
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
A Mystical Land Of Junk
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
Where Everything Is Legal
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
Earth's Crawlspace
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
About Uzbekistan
The Worst Of Both Worlds
Europe's Basement
Running On Fumes
From Rags To Tatters
Where People Go To Say They've Been
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
An Island Unto Itself
A To-Go Nation
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Properties Available, Inquire Today
You'll Only Find It On A Map
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
United In Circular Dancing
Definitely Possibly A Country
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
All Better Now Thanks To You
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
Free Admission On Sundays
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
Still Searching For India
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
The Haiti Of Europe
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
One Doesn't Blow
#1 At Being #2
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
Unstable At Last
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
A Mud Hole
Workers Of The World, Survive!
It's A Winter Wonderland!
No Fat Chicks
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
Keep Your Chin Up!
Demoted To The Fourth World
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
Partners In War Crime
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!

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