Literature / Our Dumb World

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Can you name the country by its entry subheading in The Onion's 'Our Dumb World'?

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'Wah, Wah, Wah, The Turks Were Mean To Us'
Where Dirt Gets The Death Penalty
Currently In A Battered-Nation Shelter
Free Admission On Sundays
Going Through A Rebellious Phase
A Shortcut With Its Own National Anthem
Running 26.2 Miles From Their Problems
Right On The Equatorish
What The F*** Are These Other Countries Thinking?
Congratulations, You Just Laughed At Thousands Of Starving People
Ruled By Lemurs
The World's Only Seven-Star Nation
Where A Kid Can Be A Kid Prostitute
Terrorism's Farm Team
So 'Cold' From All The 'Ice'
President Bongo's Private Residence
Like A Zoo You Get Killed At
Okay, We Made This One Up
'F*** Everyone'
A History Of Exploitation and Colonialism Marred By Mass Suicide
Suppressing The Urge To Chop You In Half With An Axe
Allah's Cat Box
Manufacturing Crates Since 1837
A Neighbor You Can Bank On
Making Its Own Sad, Poor Way
A Mud Hole
A Huge Waste Of Space
Doing Terrorism's Grunt Work
A Dangerous Place To Have A Neck
A Beautiful Nazi Retirement Community
Living Fat Off The Land
You'll Only Find It On A Map
Demoted To The Fourth World
A Possible Likely Threat To The Free World, Maybe
Unstable At Last
'So We've Done A Little Ethnic Cleansing'
Neutral...Too Neutral
The Completist's Genocide
How Low Can A Country Go?
Wait, This Might Be Paraguay
Latitude 27 South, Longitude 57 West - That's All We've Got
Conveniently Located In The Middle Of F***ing Nowhere
Badly In Need Of A Savior
Nobel Prize Winner For Great Cheekbones
Warning: Do Not Lend This Nation Money
For The United States, See Pages 9-22
Fleeting Survival Of The Fittest
At Least We're Not Democratic Republic Of Congo
These A**holes Don't Belong In An Atlas
Come For The Food Shortages, Stay Because You've Died
Don't Breathe The Air
The Cutest Little Overpopulation Crisis
The Bridebasket Of Europe
United In Circular Dancing
Must Be 18 Years Or Older To Enter
By Estee Lauder
A Lucky, Lucky Nation
A Popular Nuke Destination
Even More Chritian Than The Other Georgia
Made In Taiwan
Goodbye, Cruel World
An Island Of Moochers
Where The Streets Are Paved With Skulls
Why Spend Hundreds On A Name-Brand African Country?
A Blood Diamond Is Forever
A Great Ballpark In A Bad Neighborhood
Where People Go To Say They've Been
A Money-Rich Nation
Still Searching For India
Home Of The Lovely Queen Rania
A To-Go Nation
No Fat Chicks
Where The Rich Can Strike It Richer
Would Trade It All For A Little More Kashmir
Always With The G****** Pan Flutes
All Is Forbidden
An Island, A Palm Tree, And One Guy
'Please...Give Us...Water...'
Once A Mighty Atlas Entry
Where Everything Is Legal
From Rags To Tatters
No Child Left Alive
You Will Be Shot On Sight
Your Sons Won't Be Sent Here
[Subtitle is replaced by copy of a fake e-mail spam letter]
South Africa's South Africa
An Allah-Inclusive Terrorist Resort
Running On Fumes
Partners In War Crime
Where Russians Are Sent To Die
Genocide-Free Since April 11, 1946
They Had It Coming
A Country That Got Some Sense Bombed Into It
Where The Reading Rainbow Ends
Warning: This Page Will Self-Destruct In 10 Seconds
Why Read About Suriname?
Blowing Their Pot O'Gold On Whiskey
Definitely Possibly A Country
Europe's Basement
The Horror...The Horror...
Bram Stoker's Romania
The Land That Time, Newsweek, And USA Today Forgot
Uncharted Desert Island Economy
Fighting AIDS With Bamboo Spears
A Country Divided Exactly In Half
#1 At Being #2
Where All Roads Lead To Serious Injury
The Empty Promised Land
Earth's Crawlspace
Plight Of The Living Dead
God's Pratical Joke
The Baltic Drainage Region
On Loan From The U.S.
Working The Cradle-To-The-Grave Shift
They Are Called 'Kyrgyz,' And It Only Goes Downhill From There
Just Getting Out Of A Bad Inernational Relationship
A Muslim Woman's Dream Hell
Welcome To The Official DPRK World Atlas Of North Korea Atlas Page! Nuclear Capable!
Surging Ahead To The 19th Century
The Final Resting Place Of Botswana
The Catholic Disneyland
People At Their Most Beautiful, Humanity At Its Ugliest
A Forward-Thinking Post-Apocalyptic Nation
Birtplace Of Classical Muzak
Keep Your Chin Up!
Please Don't Feed The Humans
South America's Middleman
The Outlet Mall Of Europe
A Hotbed Of Islamic Extremism
Willing To Relocate For Work
One Doesn't Blow
A Nation In Smithereens
In Africa's Success Story, A Hidden Genocide
Escaping The American Dream
2,500 Years Past Its Prime
The Haiti Of Europe
Where Even The Elephants Take Bribes
Inhabitable By 2307
An Island Unto Itself
A Lush And Diverse Crime Scene
Just Not The Same Without The Civil War
Soon To Be Underwater
Not To Be Confused With Macedonia
A Proud Tradition Of Chocolate, And Also Some Other Stuff
Wrong Side Of The Spice Rack
This Luggage Isn't Going To Move Itself
Yo Ho Ho And An Untracable Income
All Better Now Thanks To You
The Worst Of Both Worlds
It's All Your Fault
Rotate Page 360 Degrees To Read
Please Remove Your Shoes Before Reading This
Totally Out Of This Atlas Section as Soon As The EU Accepts Them
Properties Available, Inquire Today
An Agoraphobic's Hell
Enjoying A Three-Century Siesta
Driven From A Land That Was Wrongfully Theirs
Hard-Hitting, Explosive News
One Nation Above God
Let Us Plan Your Next Wedding
Workers Of The World, Survive!
To Hezbollah In A Handbasket
Oh, The Injustice!
A Mystical Land Of Junk
We Have No Beaches
The Distended Belly Of Africa
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start
Huddled In the Corner Of Africa
What Are You Looking At?
Long Live The Late President Niyazov!
True Rasta No Develop Country
'Come On In-The Water's Fine!'
About Uzbekistan
Please Hold While We Die Of Malaria
'We're Happy Because You're Not Here'
It's A Winter Wonderland!
So Sorry For Getting Nuked
Holy Living F*** - They Still Have Slaves Here
In A World...Where Nothing Is What It Seems...
Preventing Argentina From Enjoying The Pacific Ocean Since 1818
Now Hiring 2.4 Million Busboys
A Human Assembly Line
An Island Nation, Not A Disease
As Seen On Animal Planet
Ancestral Homeland Of The Goods
Living High Off The Land
The Land of Opportunism
A Bad Neighborhood
You Are Most Welcome...To Get Out of Syria!

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Editor's Pick Sep 27, 2010ReportNominate
Tags:country, world, dumb, entry, onion, subheading, The Onion

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