| Position | First Name | Last Name |
| Our public opinion pollster is Paul Murky, assisted by statistician | |
| Our customer care representative is | |
| Our practical joke evaluator is | |
| Our auto seat tester is | |
| Our emissions tester is | |
| Our food taster is | |
| Our meteorologist from the New Delhi office is | |
| Our second shift meteorologist is | |
| Guest accomodations are provided by the | |
| Our personal makeup artist is | |
| The head of our working mother support group is | |
| Our father-in-law liaison is | |
| Our mother-in-law liaison is | |
| Their two-year-old is | |
| Her brother in the military is | |
| The little dog of the Payne-Diaz family is | |