| Lyric | Song Title |
| My only weakness is a list of crimes, my only weakness is...well, never mind, never mind | |
| It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be gentle and kind | |
| A double bed and a stalwart lover for sure -- these are the riches of the poor | |
| Keats and Yeats are on your side while Wilde is on mine | |
| She said, 'Has the Perrier gone straight to my head? Or is life sick and cruel instead?' | |
| Do you have a vacancy for a back-scrubber? | |
| Belligerent ghouls run Manchester schools | |
| Scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen -- this means you really love me | |
| Why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat? | |
| Two lovers entwined pass me by | |
| But sometimes I feel more fulfilled, making Christmas cards with the mentally ill | |
| But to you I was faceless, I was fawning, I was boring, a child from those ugly new houses | |
| And if they don't believe me now, will they ever believe me? | |
| We can go for a walk where it's quiet and dry and talk about precious things | |
| As Antony said to Cleopatra as he opened a crate of ale | |
| And the pain was enough to make a shy, bald Buddhist reflect and plan a mass murder | |
| Did I really walk all this way just to hear you say, 'Oh, I don't want to go out tonight'? | |
| You might sleep, you might sleep, you might sleep but you will never dream | |
| Spending warm summer days indoors, writing frightening verse to a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg | |
| Do you really think she'll pull through? | |
| | Lyric | Song Title |
| Would you like to marry me? And, if you like, you can buy the ring | |
| Is it wrong not to always be glad? | |
| I just might die with a smile on my face after all | |
| He's not strange, he just wants to live his life this way | |
| This is the fierce last stand of all I am | |
| Haven't had a dream in a long time | |
| In the room downstairs she sat and stared | |
| Oh, the alcoholic afternoons when we sat in your room | |
| But still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you | |
| No, I've never had a job because I'm too shy | |
| And now I know how Joan of Arc felt | |
| I wear black on the outside 'cause black is how I feel on the inside | |
| I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar | |
| Burn down the disco, hang the blessed DJ | |
| I never talk to my neighbor, I'd rather not get involved | |
| I thought that if you had an acoustic guitar then it meant that you were a protest singer | |
| Oh, people said that you were virtually dead and they were so wrong | |
| But then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn't ask | |
| Each household appliance is like a new science in my town | |
| 'There is a quick and easy way,' you say before you illustrate | |
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