Survivor Offensive Subtitles

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Can you name the player that was given each subtitle?

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SubtitlePlayer
The unexpected post-merge starr finally gets accosted into the abyss.
No way to know for sure, I figure out a cure. I'm patchin' up the holes... but then it overflows.
Going in with the lead, he comes out in second: overhyping yourself = blowing it.
Like I don't think you should be playing.
Unable to tone down the arrogance, she now has a date with Julie.
Well, I'll be dammed. They weren't feeling the beaver hat.
Krieg's numbers finally start to shrink. First one to go, the one whose font was annoyingly pink.
'I was like so turn on that like vag started to quiver... but then like I get vote out.'
Real life friends of past players clearly fail.
Improved, but still gets snuffed by the sombrero.
Started at the top, played the middle for too long, sent down under.
The dark horse gets put to sleep.
A rock. An island. ...a joke. Legit.
The mactor bites off more than he can chew and gets hung out to dry.
Too bad Harvard doesn't teach you how to be less exotic and gazelle-like.
Auction: 2 stars. Making your own Greatest Moments list by being blindsided: Priceless
Couldn't work the sex appeal like Julia...
The newest golden member survives the mass execution, but still falls just short.
Good Fairy gone bad.
Caused a riot at the challenge... and was outplayed by the boys.
Guys, that was my vote reason! I swear! Oh.. uh.. um..
Being 'dead meat' twelve straight times finally caught up to her.
SubtitlePlayer
BAI!
Fooled the Snowdens and stripped them of their power.. and won 7-0.
One crustacean down, he sinks all the way to the bottom.
Beaten. Blindsided. Booted.
You can't teach charm, but you can fake modesty.
Defeated Big Brother once and for all and takes the title of Sole Survivor.
The gold gets tarnished and it's unlucky 13 for number 1.
Out of the box. >_>
'OMGOMGOMG I usually love getting screwed from behind!!'
...and they thought Brian was the feral child.
Totally not worth throwing it...
The pick'em star can't keep the blue alive.
What a birthday gift: six votes and a snuffed torch. It's the thought that counts.
He h8s life; Metak h8ed him.
The Poutine Stand's second half falls after the first. e,,@/
Conquered all the others en route to becoming the Sole Survivor.
The noob roommate outlasts the veteran.
Turned down by Kyle's mom just in time for vacation.
Oh no they didn vote out Daneeka, boi!
Sorry, but 15 hours isn't enough. Sorry again.
Voting out this threat was a proposal they couldn't turn down.
Halved his activity, halved his placing!

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