Survivor Offensive Subtitles

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Can you name the player that was given each subtitle?

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SubtitlePlayer
No way to know for sure, I figure out a cure. I'm patchin' up the holes... but then it overflows.
Krieg's numbers finally start to shrink. First one to go, the one whose font was annoyingly pink.
Totally not worth throwing it...
Going in with the lead, he comes out in second: overhyping yourself = blowing it.
A rock. An island. ...a joke. Legit.
Too bad Harvard doesn't teach you how to be less exotic and gazelle-like.
The newest golden member survives the mass execution, but still falls just short.
Turned down by Kyle's mom just in time for vacation.
The gold gets tarnished and it's unlucky 13 for number 1.
BAI!
Guys, that was my vote reason! I swear! Oh.. uh.. um..
Auction: 2 stars. Making your own Greatest Moments list by being blindsided: Priceless
Defeated Big Brother once and for all and takes the title of Sole Survivor.
'I was like so turn on that like vag started to quiver... but then like I get vote out.'
The dark horse gets put to sleep.
Like I don't think you should be playing.
Unable to tone down the arrogance, she now has a date with Julie.
...and they thought Brian was the feral child.
The pick'em star can't keep the blue alive.
Being 'dead meat' twelve straight times finally caught up to her.
What a birthday gift: six votes and a snuffed torch. It's the thought that counts.
Out of the box. >_>
SubtitlePlayer
Voting out this threat was a proposal they couldn't turn down.
Conquered all the others en route to becoming the Sole Survivor.
The unexpected post-merge starr finally gets accosted into the abyss.
The noob roommate outlasts the veteran.
Couldn't work the sex appeal like Julia...
Beaten. Blindsided. Booted.
The mactor bites off more than he can chew and gets hung out to dry.
Good Fairy gone bad.
Sorry, but 15 hours isn't enough. Sorry again.
He h8s life; Metak h8ed him.
Halved his activity, halved his placing!
Real life friends of past players clearly fail.
Improved, but still gets snuffed by the sombrero.
'OMGOMGOMG I usually love getting screwed from behind!!'
Caused a riot at the challenge... and was outplayed by the boys.
Oh no they didn vote out Daneeka, boi!
The Poutine Stand's second half falls after the first. e,,@/
Well, I'll be dammed. They weren't feeling the beaver hat.
One crustacean down, he sinks all the way to the bottom.
Fooled the Snowdens and stripped them of their power.. and won 7-0.
You can't teach charm, but you can fake modesty.
Started at the top, played the middle for too long, sent down under.

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