Survivor Offensive Subtitles

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Can you name the player that was given each subtitle?

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SubtitlePlayer
Sorry, but 15 hours isn't enough. Sorry again.
Being 'dead meat' twelve straight times finally caught up to her.
Well, I'll be dammed. They weren't feeling the beaver hat.
The gold gets tarnished and it's unlucky 13 for number 1.
Fooled the Snowdens and stripped them of their power.. and won 7-0.
Turned down by Kyle's mom just in time for vacation.
The newest golden member survives the mass execution, but still falls just short.
One crustacean down, he sinks all the way to the bottom.
The unexpected post-merge starr finally gets accosted into the abyss.
Krieg's numbers finally start to shrink. First one to go, the one whose font was annoyingly pink.
A rock. An island. ...a joke. Legit.
'I was like so turn on that like vag started to quiver... but then like I get vote out.'
The noob roommate outlasts the veteran.
Totally not worth throwing it...
BAI!
Guys, that was my vote reason! I swear! Oh.. uh.. um..
You can't teach charm, but you can fake modesty.
Good Fairy gone bad.
The dark horse gets put to sleep.
Too bad Harvard doesn't teach you how to be less exotic and gazelle-like.
'OMGOMGOMG I usually love getting screwed from behind!!'
Like I don't think you should be playing.
SubtitlePlayer
What a birthday gift: six votes and a snuffed torch. It's the thought that counts.
...and they thought Brian was the feral child.
Auction: 2 stars. Making your own Greatest Moments list by being blindsided: Priceless
Caused a riot at the challenge... and was outplayed by the boys.
He h8s life; Metak h8ed him.
Oh no they didn vote out Daneeka, boi!
Halved his activity, halved his placing!
Defeated Big Brother once and for all and takes the title of Sole Survivor.
Real life friends of past players clearly fail.
Improved, but still gets snuffed by the sombrero.
Couldn't work the sex appeal like Julia...
Going in with the lead, he comes out in second: overhyping yourself = blowing it.
Beaten. Blindsided. Booted.
Unable to tone down the arrogance, she now has a date with Julie.
Voting out this threat was a proposal they couldn't turn down.
Started at the top, played the middle for too long, sent down under.
Conquered all the others en route to becoming the Sole Survivor.
The mactor bites off more than he can chew and gets hung out to dry.
The Poutine Stand's second half falls after the first. e,,@/
No way to know for sure, I figure out a cure. I'm patchin' up the holes... but then it overflows.
Out of the box. >_>
The pick'em star can't keep the blue alive.

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