Survivor Offensive Subtitles

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Can you name the player that was given each subtitle?

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SubtitlePlayer
The noob roommate outlasts the veteran.
Out of the box. >_>
A rock. An island. ...a joke. Legit.
'OMGOMGOMG I usually love getting screwed from behind!!'
He h8s life; Metak h8ed him.
Sorry, but 15 hours isn't enough. Sorry again.
Improved, but still gets snuffed by the sombrero.
The mactor bites off more than he can chew and gets hung out to dry.
Real life friends of past players clearly fail.
What a birthday gift: six votes and a snuffed torch. It's the thought that counts.
Like I don't think you should be playing.
BAI!
Oh no they didn vote out Daneeka, boi!
Auction: 2 stars. Making your own Greatest Moments list by being blindsided: Priceless
Going in with the lead, he comes out in second: overhyping yourself = blowing it.
Well, I'll be dammed. They weren't feeling the beaver hat.
Couldn't work the sex appeal like Julia...
Unable to tone down the arrogance, she now has a date with Julie.
Conquered all the others en route to becoming the Sole Survivor.
Fooled the Snowdens and stripped them of their power.. and won 7-0.
One crustacean down, he sinks all the way to the bottom.
Halved his activity, halved his placing!
SubtitlePlayer
Started at the top, played the middle for too long, sent down under.
You can't teach charm, but you can fake modesty.
The dark horse gets put to sleep.
Guys, that was my vote reason! I swear! Oh.. uh.. um..
Turned down by Kyle's mom just in time for vacation.
The pick'em star can't keep the blue alive.
The Poutine Stand's second half falls after the first. e,,@/
'I was like so turn on that like vag started to quiver... but then like I get vote out.'
Beaten. Blindsided. Booted.
Voting out this threat was a proposal they couldn't turn down.
No way to know for sure, I figure out a cure. I'm patchin' up the holes... but then it overflows.
...and they thought Brian was the feral child.
The newest golden member survives the mass execution, but still falls just short.
The gold gets tarnished and it's unlucky 13 for number 1.
Defeated Big Brother once and for all and takes the title of Sole Survivor.
Good Fairy gone bad.
Too bad Harvard doesn't teach you how to be less exotic and gazelle-like.
Totally not worth throwing it...
The unexpected post-merge starr finally gets accosted into the abyss.
Krieg's numbers finally start to shrink. First one to go, the one whose font was annoyingly pink.
Being 'dead meat' twelve straight times finally caught up to her.
Caused a riot at the challenge... and was outplayed by the boys.

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