Miscellaneous / Survivor Offensive Subtitles

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Can you name the player that was given each subtitle?

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SubtitlePlayer
The Poutine Stand's second half falls after the first. e,,@/
One crustacean down, he sinks all the way to the bottom.
A rock. An island. ...a joke. Legit.
The mactor bites off more than he can chew and gets hung out to dry.
No way to know for sure, I figure out a cure. I'm patchin' up the holes... but then it overflows.
You can't teach charm, but you can fake modesty.
Krieg's numbers finally start to shrink. First one to go, the one whose font was annoyingly pink.
Like I don't think you should be playing.
Going in with the lead, he comes out in second: overhyping yourself = blowing it.
BAI!
Voting out this threat was a proposal they couldn't turn down.
Being 'dead meat' twelve straight times finally caught up to her.
Couldn't work the sex appeal like Julia...
The noob roommate outlasts the veteran.
Too bad Harvard doesn't teach you how to be less exotic and gazelle-like.
The dark horse gets put to sleep.
Guys, that was my vote reason! I swear! Oh.. uh.. um..
Real life friends of past players clearly fail.
Halved his activity, halved his placing!
Auction: 2 stars. Making your own Greatest Moments list by being blindsided: Priceless
The newest golden member survives the mass execution, but still falls just short.
'OMGOMGOMG I usually love getting screwed from behind!!'
SubtitlePlayer
He h8s life; Metak h8ed him.
Improved, but still gets snuffed by the sombrero.
Totally not worth throwing it...
Defeated Big Brother once and for all and takes the title of Sole Survivor.
Caused a riot at the challenge... and was outplayed by the boys.
Fooled the Snowdens and stripped them of their power.. and won 7-0.
Oh no they didn vote out Daneeka, boi!
Out of the box. >_>
Turned down by Kyle's mom just in time for vacation.
Started at the top, played the middle for too long, sent down under.
'I was like so turn on that like vag started to quiver... but then like I get vote out.'
Good Fairy gone bad.
Beaten. Blindsided. Booted.
What a birthday gift: six votes and a snuffed torch. It's the thought that counts.
The pick'em star can't keep the blue alive.
Well, I'll be dammed. They weren't feeling the beaver hat.
Conquered all the others en route to becoming the Sole Survivor.
The gold gets tarnished and it's unlucky 13 for number 1.
...and they thought Brian was the feral child.
The unexpected post-merge starr finally gets accosted into the abyss.
Sorry, but 15 hours isn't enough. Sorry again.
Unable to tone down the arrogance, she now has a date with Julie.

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