Survivor Offensive Subtitles

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Can you name the player that was given each subtitle?

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Turned down by Kyle's mom just in time for vacation.
The noob roommate outlasts the veteran.
Guys, that was my vote reason! I swear! Oh.. uh.. um..
Like I don't think you should be playing.
He h8s life; Metak h8ed him.
Conquered all the others en route to becoming the Sole Survivor.
'OMGOMGOMG I usually love getting screwed from behind!!'
Totally not worth throwing it...
The newest golden member survives the mass execution, but still falls just short.
The mactor bites off more than he can chew and gets hung out to dry.
Being 'dead meat' twelve straight times finally caught up to her.
Krieg's numbers finally start to shrink. First one to go, the one whose font was annoyingly pink.
...and they thought Brian was the feral child.
'I was like so turn on that like vag started to quiver... but then like I get vote out.'
The Poutine Stand's second half falls after the first. e,,@/
Oh no they didn vote out Daneeka, boi!
The unexpected post-merge starr finally gets accosted into the abyss.
Defeated Big Brother once and for all and takes the title of Sole Survivor.
Unable to tone down the arrogance, she now has a date with Julie.
No way to know for sure, I figure out a cure. I'm patchin' up the holes... but then it overflows.
One crustacean down, he sinks all the way to the bottom.
Halved his activity, halved his placing!
The dark horse gets put to sleep.
Going in with the lead, he comes out in second: overhyping yourself = blowing it.
Beaten. Blindsided. Booted.
Started at the top, played the middle for too long, sent down under.
Sorry, but 15 hours isn't enough. Sorry again.
Improved, but still gets snuffed by the sombrero.
What a birthday gift: six votes and a snuffed torch. It's the thought that counts.
Couldn't work the sex appeal like Julia...
A rock. An island. ...a joke. Legit.
Auction: 2 stars. Making your own Greatest Moments list by being blindsided: Priceless
You can't teach charm, but you can fake modesty.
The gold gets tarnished and it's unlucky 13 for number 1.
The pick'em star can't keep the blue alive.
Voting out this threat was a proposal they couldn't turn down.
Real life friends of past players clearly fail.
Out of the box. >_>
Caused a riot at the challenge... and was outplayed by the boys.
Good Fairy gone bad.
Too bad Harvard doesn't teach you how to be less exotic and gazelle-like.
Well, I'll be dammed. They weren't feeling the beaver hat.
Fooled the Snowdens and stripped them of their power.. and won 7-0.

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