Survivor Offensive Subtitles

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Can you name the player that was given each subtitle?

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SubtitlePlayer
The pick'em star can't keep the blue alive.
Auction: 2 stars. Making your own Greatest Moments list by being blindsided: Priceless
You can't teach charm, but you can fake modesty.
Unable to tone down the arrogance, she now has a date with Julie.
Defeated Big Brother once and for all and takes the title of Sole Survivor.
Krieg's numbers finally start to shrink. First one to go, the one whose font was annoyingly pink.
Beaten. Blindsided. Booted.
Caused a riot at the challenge... and was outplayed by the boys.
Turned down by Kyle's mom just in time for vacation.
The noob roommate outlasts the veteran.
Conquered all the others en route to becoming the Sole Survivor.
The unexpected post-merge starr finally gets accosted into the abyss.
Well, I'll be dammed. They weren't feeling the beaver hat.
Improved, but still gets snuffed by the sombrero.
Real life friends of past players clearly fail.
Couldn't work the sex appeal like Julia...
Out of the box. >_>
Like I don't think you should be playing.
What a birthday gift: six votes and a snuffed torch. It's the thought that counts.
'I was like so turn on that like vag started to quiver... but then like I get vote out.'
The Poutine Stand's second half falls after the first. e,,@/
Being 'dead meat' twelve straight times finally caught up to her.
SubtitlePlayer
One crustacean down, he sinks all the way to the bottom.
Totally not worth throwing it...
Going in with the lead, he comes out in second: overhyping yourself = blowing it.
He h8s life; Metak h8ed him.
BAI!
The mactor bites off more than he can chew and gets hung out to dry.
The newest golden member survives the mass execution, but still falls just short.
Guys, that was my vote reason! I swear! Oh.. uh.. um..
...and they thought Brian was the feral child.
Too bad Harvard doesn't teach you how to be less exotic and gazelle-like.
Started at the top, played the middle for too long, sent down under.
Fooled the Snowdens and stripped them of their power.. and won 7-0.
Sorry, but 15 hours isn't enough. Sorry again.
Halved his activity, halved his placing!
Good Fairy gone bad.
A rock. An island. ...a joke. Legit.
'OMGOMGOMG I usually love getting screwed from behind!!'
No way to know for sure, I figure out a cure. I'm patchin' up the holes... but then it overflows.
The dark horse gets put to sleep.
Oh no they didn vote out Daneeka, boi!
The gold gets tarnished and it's unlucky 13 for number 1.
Voting out this threat was a proposal they couldn't turn down.

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