The Office Quotes

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Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.
 
No! No! I don't want to touch you, ever consider that? You are ignorant, and insulting, and small.
 
Reject a woman and she will never let it go. It's one of the defects of thier kind. Also weak arms.
 
I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small. Drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretze
 
I always knew the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be becuase Michael sold the building for some magic beans.
 
When I die, I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than I ever becasue I will have used that time to figure out exactly why
 
I think if I was allergic to dairy I'd kill myself.
 
I had Martin explain to me 3 times what he got arrested for because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here everyday.
 
I miss Dwight. Congratulations Universe, You win!
 
I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.
 
Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.
 
I swallowed a tape worm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me, and then it eats all of my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months, I take s
 
I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk! Waitresses - hot! Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter! Then quick nap at my pla
 
Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout.
 
I really Schruted it.
 
I am the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Utica branch. Turns out it's an easy gig when your boss isn't an idiot and your boyfriend isn't in love with somebody else.
 
Why is this so hard?... That's what she said. Oh my god, what am I saying?
 

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Created Oct 7, 2009ReportNominate
Tags:quote, The Office, office