The Office (US) Quotes by Episode

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Can you name the character off The Office (US) by their quote?

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QuoteCharacterEpisode
'You, uh, you should have put him in custardy'101 - Pilot
'This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here'102 - Diversity Day
'Through simple concentration I can both raise and lower my cholesterol'103 - Health Care
'I think green is kind of whorish'104 - The Alliance
'Why 'of course'? What's that supposed to mean?'105 - Basketball
'Moms, primarily. Yep, soccer moms, single moms, NASCAR moms, any type of mom really'106 - Hot Girl
'I used to say 'don't go there', but that's lame'201 - The Dundies
'What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? This guy!'202 - Sexual Harassment
'Kevin and I play this paper football game when Michael's out'203 - Office Olympics
'I hope the war goes on for ever and that Ryan gets drafted'204 - The Fire
'I'm guessing Angela is the one in the neighborhood that gives the trick-or-treaters toothbrushes. Pennies. Walnuts'205 - Halloween
'You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?'206 - The Fight
'Wait who's 'Dwigt'?'207 - The Client
'Well, I'm not asking for a raise, I'm actually asking for a pay decrease'208 - Performance Review
'Not so fast, 'fire guy.''209 - E-Mail Surveillance
'What line of work you in, Bob?'210 - Christmas Party
'It's a fake wheel, dummy!'211 - Booze Cruise
'Ryan is... dead'212 - The Injury
'Oooh! ...Which one is Pam?'213 - The Secret
'Beyonce; pink, the color; Pink, the person; hot dogs... basically, anything that is awesome. Snow cones...'214 - The Carpet
'But I don't see it that way. You know why not? Because I'm 'collarblind''215 - Boys and Girls
'New York, New York. City so nice they named it twice. Manhattan is the other name'216 - Valentine's Day
I misspelled, in front of the entire school, the word 'failure.''217 - Dwight's Speech
'Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life'218 - Take Your Daughter to Work Day
'Yes. But don't expect any cookie'219 - Michael's Birthday
'You look cute today, Dwight'220 - Drug Testing
'Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?'221 - Conflict Resolution
'...And it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know. Is that- is that enough? Should I keep going?'222 - Casino Night
'You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste'301 - Gay Witch Hunt
'I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of one someday'302 - The Convention
'Saboteur! I'm going to kill you for real. This game-- the game is over. I'm really going to shoot you'303 - The Coup
'You know a human can go on several hours after being decapitated'304 - Grief Counseling
'364 days... 'til the next Pretzel Day'305 - Initiation
'Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do... sign me up. Because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional'306 - Diwali
'Dwight, at eight a.m. today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee. More instructions will follow'307 - Branch Closing
'I'm always thinking one step ahead. Like a... carpenter... that makes stairs'308 - The Merger
'I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here everyday'309 - The Convict
'And then... suddenly she's not your ho no mo''310 - A Benihana Christmas
'Yep, it's English, it's 'impossible.''311 - Back from Vacation
QuoteCharacterEpisode
'Oh hello Oscar. How was your gay-cation?'312 - Traveling Salesman
'That... was an overreaction'313 - The Return
'That, is not the real Ben Franklin. I am 99% sure'314 - Ben Franklin
'I look really good in white'315 - Phyllis' Wedding
'Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake?'316 - Business School
'Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God, what am I saying'317 - Cocktails
'Are you wearing lady clothes? Those look like lady pants'318 - The Negotiation
'I saved a life. My own. Am I a hero? I really can't say, but yes'319 - Safety Training
'Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica'320 - Product Recall
'If that's flashing then lock me up'321 - Women's Appreciation
'About forty times a year, Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned'322 - Beach Games
'What's up, Big Haircut? You are no longer Big Tuna. From henceforth you shall be known as Big Haircut'323 - The Job
'One day Michael came in, complaining about a speed bump, on the highway... I wonder who he ran over then'401 - Fun Run
'You can't base who gets new clients on who you're sleeping with that week. Okay?'402 - Dunder Mifflin Infinity
'They say you should never mix business with pleasure. Really? Then explain to me how a putt-putt golf company operates'403 - Launch Party
'I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!'404 - Money
'Absolutely everything was the same. Except I could fly'405 - Local Ad
'Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me'406 - Branch Wars
'When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes. And I am always busy'407 - Survivor Man
'I don't talk trash, I talk smack. They're totally different'408 - The Deposition
'You burn it you buy it!'409 - Dinner Party
'No. Alright? No she can't fit on a rowboat.'410 - Chair Model
'I have an announcement, uh, to make. I am moving to Costa Rica'411 - Night Out
'That's when someone really gets in your face, you know you just, start ticklin' 'em'412 - Did I Stutter?
'I fell in the sand trap'413 - Job Fair
'What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. 'What do I do?' Really, what do I do here?'414 - Goodbye, Toby
'Wait back up. Do you think that I'm retarded?'501 - Weight Loss
'Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy, twice! No big deal'502 - Business Ethics
'Twelve hundred dollars is what I spent on my whole bomb shelter. For that kind of money, this stroller, should be indestructible'503 - Baby Shower
'So much for sex without consequences'504 - Crime Aid
'You know I once dated a couple guys from Cornell. They were really nice. They gave me a ride home'505 - Employee Transfer
'Dwight get out of my nook!'506 - Customer Survey
'Have you seen her painting, Jim? The building? There are shadows coming from two directions. What!? Are there two suns?'507 - Business Trip
'That seems awfully mean. But sometimes the ends justify the mean'508 - Frame Toby
'Look, I really need this new chair. I mean, seriously, how is it possible that in five years I've had two engagement rings, and only one chair?'509 - The Surplus
'There are several ways to kill a zombie. But the most satisfying one, is to stab it in the brain, with a wooden stick'510 - Moroccan Christmas
'How about, I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form'511 - The Duel
'A painting can be beautiful, but I don't want to bang a painting'512 - Prince Family Paper
'If it were an iPod it would be a shuffle!'513 - Stress Relief
QuoteCharacterEpisode
'Fortunately my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's'514 - Lecture Circuit: Part 1
'That's cool. Hey you know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed!'515 - Lecture Circuit: Part 2
'I honestly don't know how you can work with that jackass. And that other jackass and the new jackass'516 - Blood Drive
'I just wanna say that this golden ticket idea is one of the most brilliant signs of initiative I've ever seen at this company'517 - Golden Ticket
'You pet the animals, they pet you back'518 - New Boss
'You know what? I had a great time at prom. And no one said yes to that either'519 - Two Weeks
'Yep. I used to play soccer in school. From second to forth grade. I was on the orange team'520 - Dream Team
'I thought Rajini Ghanda was a boy's name'521 - Michael Scott Paper Company
'How is, uh, Tom. The homosexual sophomore?'522 - Heavy Competition
'Well well well. How the turn tables--'523 - Broke
'So hey. I wanna, set you up with my daughter'524 - Casual Friday
'I'm not sure but I'm pretty sure I'm in a dance-off!'525 - Cafe Disco
'Hey, nice day, huh? Must be nice to get a rest from all your rest'526 - Company Picnic
'Who's the OB/GYN?'601 - Gossip
'Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri? My main concern is should I have a safe word?'602 - The Meeting
'Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents. A boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be, without the popes'603 - The Promotion
'The peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on'604 - Niagara
'If the salad is on top, I send it back'605 - Mafia
'You know, I really would've appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would've introduced you to mine'606 - The Lover
'Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface'607 - Koi Pond
'You give me a gift? Bam! Thank You note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.'608 - Double Date
'Voodoo Mama Juju, the witch doctor of the Savannah swamp'609 - Murder
'Hate to break it to you Oscar, but some of us like boobs'610 - Shareholder's Meeting
'I've always wondered what it might be like to be an accountant'611 - Scott's Tots
'Nobody's ever let me sit on their lap before.'612 - Secret Santa
'Calculating...Calculating...Pacific!'613 - The Banker
'Have you tried making everything smaller?'614 - Sabre
'Manuel who?'615 - Manager and Saleman
'Kevin has an enormous heart. Literally he has an elephant heart, he had a transplant.'616 - The Delivery
'I mean, you're here at work, the baby thinks that the refrigerator is its father.'617 - St. Patrick's Day
'You couldn't handle my undivided attention.'618 - New Leads
'Yeah, the, uh the whole gang. Matt included.'619 - Happy Hour
'They're making fun of Cookie Monster. I get that. But in a strange way, it feels like they're making fun of me.'620 - Secretary's Day
'Eso es lo que dice el!'621 - Body Language
'Darnell's a chump. I would've done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.'622 - The Cover Up
'OK, Morgan Freeman, narrating everything.'623 - The Chump
'I noticed you've had a good year. Good boy. You turning that money into more money?'624 - Whistleblower

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