Footballers by Urban Dictionary definition

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Can you name the footballers (soccer players) by their urban dictionary definition?

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DefinitionName
Douche; Pretends he's hurt when nobody even came near him. But has some skill when it comes to soccer
To be called (name) is to be called a cheating French scumbag in Ireland.
Only the most amazing soccer player in the present world. However, his teeth are a little big. Just a little.
Arsenal's prized possesion and can pick a pass anywhere on the field (now Barcelona)
(verb) Irrational act of head butting during a crucial moment and being caught in the act by a third-party.
A name used to describe somebody who is only motivated by money. They will throw all their toys out of their pram when they have been caught doing something that they shouldn't.
Britian's most sellable face. His brains are located in his right foot.
Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe.
A very good but very over rated English central defender; A sexual euphemism for banging your best friends wife/girlfriend
A person who is laughably bad at his/her job, but refuses to acknowledge it; to find excuses when the only excuse is ones own ineptitude.
What a shambles; I just messed up; Awful Wigan defender (now Sunderland)
DefinitionName
The wally with the brolly, who caused England non-qualification to Euro 2008
The greatest footballer ever. True gift for the Brazillians and football world
Has made the scoring of deflected goals an art form.
Manager of ...., the best thing that has happened to football in England since studs on boots, with intellect comparable to Einstien
Not only does he make whichever team he coaches win, he is also hilarious.
One day God decided to make the greatest player ever. However, it got ruined so He named it Cristiano Ronaldo. He then tried again and truly made the best player ever
To impact a soccer game in such a way that you by yourself orchestrated a massive comeback for your team after being a few goals down.
A highly talented, yet foul tempered English footballer. As well as his football ability he also possesses the ability to look like both Shrek and a potato.
Cheating short fat ugly little Argentinian; Fair enough he was the best player in the world between 84-88
Took us single handedly to the Italia 90 semi finals; 90's term to cry like a baby
Besides being 6 foot 2 and a little over 200 pounds, (Name) can be found flopping all over the pitch in a 'theatrical performance'

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