| Quote | Movie |
| ' First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.' | |
| 'Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but you owe me $32,000 in legal fees.' | |
| 'Ah, this fella says he needs to go out back for a little private time?' | |
| 'Mom, you're making weird faces again.' | |
| 'Eh... I don't think those were Lincoln Logs.' | |
| 'Can I borrow your odorant?' | |
| 'No, of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion.' | |
| 'You know, most people take a plane, but you're smart because you'll have all your TV and clocks and stuff.' | |
| 'I killed a man.. with this thumb.' | |
| 'I have been chosen! Farewell, my friends. I go on to a better place.' | |
| 'Try blue, it's the new red!' | |