Nicolas Cage Films by Critical Thrashing

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Can you name the Nicolas Cage films from the two critic's blurbs given for each one?

Featured Mar 5, 2011

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Blurb OneFilmBlurb Two
''This may, in fact, be the junkiest film in history to star three Academy Award winners.'' (Orlando Sentinel)''The title refers not only to car thefts but to your hearing.'' (Charlotte Observer)
''This is as stale as Tuesday's Pad Thai.'' (Orlando Sentinel)''Certainly lives down to its title, which sounds like a caveman giving travel advice.'' (Metro Mix)
''It's got videogame-from-hell F/X, plus jousting, plus Cage in tangled long hair he seems to have mistakenly put in the washing machine.'' (Entertainment Weekly)''The screenplay is like a transcription of a Dungeons and Dragons session... The 'performances' are like clueless imitations of Monty Python by actors who don't understand comedy. '' (Flick Philospher)
''I've discovered a set of letters predicting when a catastrophically bad film is about to occur.'' (Daily Mirror)''So inept that you may wish you were watching an M. Night Shyamalan version of the very same premise.'' (Entertainment Weekly)
''Rotten, risible, rubbish. One of the year's worst films.'' (Bangor Daily News)''Watching Cage karate chop Leelee 'Made-for-TV' Sobiesky into submission is almost worth the price of admission. Well, assuming admission was free.'' (Peterborough This Week)
''Insultingly preposterous, culturally barren clump of exploitative, flag-sticker patriotism.'' (Premiere)''This movie couldn't be more stale if it'd been dug up by archaeologists.'' (BBC)
''Has Brian De Palma finally lost his mind?'' (Entertainment Weekly)''The worst kind of bad film.'' (Roger ****)
''A globetrotting quest that might have been devised after a long night of Wikipedia surfing.'' (New York Times)''A national embarrassment.'' (Bangor Daily News)
''This film should be declared a health hazard.'' (San Diego Metropolitan)''It resuscitates a neglected slice of World War II history only to smother it with clich├ęs and repetitive massacres.'' (Sacramento News)
''For years scientists have theorized that one day Nicolas Cage would overact so badly that his head would burst into flames.'' (Arizona Daily Star)''The best that can be said about this movie, which is quite bad, is that it's not a complete surprise.'' (Kurt Loder)
''A schlocky mix of bad special effects and worse Cage hairdos.'' (Entertainment Weekly) ''Cris shouts at a bad guy, 'I've seen every possible ending here. None of them are good for you.' It's as if he's talking to the audience, and alas, he's right.'' (Seattle Times)
''Like seeing the basement torture scene in Pulp Fiction expanded to film length.'' (San Diego Union-Tribune)''Quite possibly the most revolting studio picture since the execrable 1980 Al Pacino flick Cruising.'' (Matinee Magazine)
''Ever wonder what the Harry Potter films would be like without an ounce of wit, grace or subtlety? Wonder no more.'' (Kansas City Star)''A noisy, f/x-spewing cauldron of a movie.'' (Variety)
''They're 'the worst of the worst.' So's the movie.'' (Rolling Stone)''How's the movie? Big, loud, brutal and stupid, that's how it is.'' (Salon)
''Cage's ancestors may have come from the Old Country, but he's no more Italian than Franco-American SpaghettiOs.'' (Washington Post)''Utterly uninvolving when it's not just laughably dreadful.'' (LA Daily News)

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Created Dec 13, 2010Report
Tags:actor, cage, crap, critic, Movie Stars, name, Nicolas Cage, worst