Ben Affleck Movies by Critical Thrashing

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Can you name the Ben Affleck movie from the two critic's blurbs given for each one?

Featured Dec 28, 2010

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Blurb OneMovieBlurb Two
''One of the wimpiest wartime romances ever filmed.''
(USA Today)
''A cheerfully offensive rape of history.''
(UK Critic)
''A gruesome Cannonball Run with Piven flesh as the trophy.''
(Slate)
''A movie that may not only be dumb in itself, but also the cause of dumbness in others.''
(New York Times)
''You've seen Roadrunner cartoons with more suspense than this entirely predictable hash.''
(Austin Chronicle)
''Clearly, the whole cast was here simply to collect - yes, you guessed it.''
(Apollo Guide)
''The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense and the human desire to be entertained.''
(Roger ****)
''The unholy spawn of The Dirty Dozen and Con Air.''
(Rolling Stone)
''A series of bad scenes connected by empty characters, most of whom seem like leftovers from scripts abandoned long ago.''
(Detroit News)
''We have now officially arrived at the bottom of the comic-book pile.''
(San Jose Mercury News)
''The cinematic equivalent of Styrofoam: a weightless romantic comedy of synthetic feelings.''
(Rolling Stone)
''Affleck and Bullock merely seem to be spouting lines at each other.''
(Arts Reviews)
Blurb OneMovieBlurb Two
''All that's vaguely funny or Christmassy about this are the sweaty beads of desperation which string together like fairy-lights across Affleck's forehead.''
(BBC)
''This ghastly comedy emits the subliminal whine of a sucking chest wound.''
(Village Voice)
''Nearly as unwatchable as it is unpronounceable.''
(LA Times)
''Awe-inspiringly, world-historically awful.''
(BBC)
''Affleck is out-acted by everyone else in the cast, including the infant who plays his daughter.''
(Northwest Herald)
''The good news is that Jennifer Lopez's character dies in the first 20 minutes. The bad news is that Ben Affleck lives.''
(Boulder Weekly)
''After a while, you stop paying attention and start wondering just how big an idiot the filmmakers mistook you for.''
(LA Daily News)
''You are sorely tempted to laugh and call it names.''
(Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)
''Like reliving your 20s, without any of the fun.''
(Time)
''He won't be that into you if you make him watch this movie.''
(Rex Reed)
''About as moving as a month-old Kleenex.''
(LA Times)
''Affleck and Paltrow seem to be enjoying their roles far more than we do.''
(Courier Journal)

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