| ACT III, Scene i | Play |
| A man invites his good friend to dinner, then sends two thugs to murder him. (Despite being murdered, the dead friend still manages to make the dinner.) | |
| A thoughtful young man famously weighs life's pros and cons. | |
| A charismatic king politely suggests to his men that they all head over to that breach *just* one more time. | |
| Just to shake things up, the title character is killed off halfway through his own play. | |
| A prince carrying firewood gives a speech about how he doesn't mind carrying firewood because the old man he's carrying firewood for has a daughter who is *totally* hot. | |
| A cross-dresser is hustled by a clown, insulted by a pair of drunks, then blatantly hit on by a woman in mourning. | |
| The title character promises his nephew that he hasn't killed all his uncles (though he has) then swears that he'll be perfectly safe in the tower (which he won't). | |
| | ACT III, Scene i | Play |
| A young woman receives a simultaneous Latin lesson/music lesson from two men who haven't the slightest interest in her education. | |
| A disgraced soldier makes an (oddly misguided) attempt to get back into his General's good graces by hiring musicians to play under his window. | |
| Two women successfully dupe another woman into falling in love with a man she despises simply by allowing her to overhear their conversation. | |
| After being fatally wounded, the play's most happy-go-lucky character tries to get out as many puns as he can before he bleeds to death. | |
| During a thunderstorm, a banished earl in disguise encounters a knight, who tells him his boss went a little nuts. | |
| With a gruesome war raging outside, a kidnapped woman and her new boyfriend blithely exchange sex jokes with a perverted old man. | |
| An evil duke interrogates the hero's evil brother. It is the first time they have met, and the last time either one is evil. | |
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