Officer of the court who probably wouldn't have ruled that way but guesses the judge knows what he's doing.
Financial system in which a man in a nice suit tells you that he's sorry, but there's nothing he can do.
Pedal-powered mechanism that increases the speed and efficiency of getting hit by a car.
Game in which the object is to roll a heavy ball down a 60-foot alley, or lane, and knock down a set of 10 wooden pins in an effort to drown out one's sadness.
Board game that has evolved into a nuanced, cerebral battle of strategy and wit, though it was designed to be played by mashing the pieces together and making explosion noises.
Live music event that everyone in attendance secretly wants to end soon.
Genre of writing that places value judgments on literature, film, visual art, architecture, and other creative endeavors, and which, quite frankly, appears to have been written by an insufferably precocious, attention-starved 9-year-old.
Tight-fitting women's undergarment popularized during the 16th century in response to the now-discredited medical theory that if not contained, a woman's ribs would become dislocated and begin floating to different parts of the body.
Automated mode of conveyance that accounts for 85 percent of the world's slow vertical movement.
Flawed system that everyone agrees is obsolete, but is thankfully only used to elect the president of the United States.
Moving staircase invented to prevent the stores on the second floors of American malls from going out of business.
Article of clothing a person wears to signify that you will have absolutely nothing in common with that person.
Sound a cat makes when one is trying to jam it into a refrigerator lettuce bin so one can take a funny picture of it.
Regular fee paid to a company to ensure that, in the event of damage, illness, loss, or death, the company will withhold payment.
Act of making a garment by interlocking loops of wool or yarn while periodically pausing and sipping the merlot that Becca brought.
Household location for an argument that started in the kitchen and needed somewhere to move to.
Gin-based American cocktail that has never been made correctly.
Popular kitchen appliance that uses radiation and radio waves to heat polarized molecules in food as if that's a completely normal thing to do.
Daily newsletter of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP).
Joke made by people who attended an Ivy League college.
Loose approximation of something a notable figure once said that is then attributed to someone else.
System used for detecting the location, size, and distance of blips.
Regular sum of money employees are paid for doing their own jobs in addition to their fired co-workers jobs.
Playground toy that consists of a fulcrum-mounted plank designed to remind some children that they don't even have one friend.
Athletic event in which a heavy round ball is thrown as far as possible and the only sport considered less graceful than carrying an air conditioner up seven flights of stairs.
Viral disease characterized by a painful skin rash and necrotic blisters that one can't help but do a Google image search of.
Sports-themed periodical that was popular for several decades before publishers figured out that they needed to create a service whereby sports fans could have the magazine shouted at them by a man with a goatee.
Seattle-based chain of coffeehouses founded in 1971 that has convinced millions of consumers to shrug and tell themselves that maybe coffee is supposed to taste this way.
Racquet-based game that is played until all three balls you brought are hit over the fence.
Adult stage in the life cycle of bread.
Mysterious object in the sky that may officially be deemed an alien vessel only after the careful and methodical elimination of one or two other possibilities.
Scheduled period of rest and relaxation during which one's everyday concerns and anxieties are experienced in a recreational setting.
Metallic formal wear required for fancier battles.
Venomous snake that can produce a rattling sound from its tail but generally has to be begged numerous times before it gives in and finally just does it.
Beaded manual counting device invented by ancient Sumerians to screw customers out of a fair price.
Recreational area that would be somewhat tolerable without all the sand, sun, and people. Also the water.
Person widely despised and maligned for visiting, admiring, and spending money in another person's town or city.
Iconic wrought-iron tower that follows visiting tourists all around France in order to insert itself into every photo they take.