|I figured if I blue myself early I'd be nice and relaxed for a nine o'clock dinner reservation.|
|-I'll be in the hospital bar.|
-You know there is no hospital bar, mother.
-Well, this is why people hate hospitals.
|Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?|
|Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?|
|-Turn this skiff around!|
-We haven't even left the dock.
-But 'skiff' is appropriate, right?
|A father can tell, okay? It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face.|
|-Remember we had a conversation about cutting back on things that aren't necessities?|
-Like it was yesterday.
-It was this morning.
|Yeah, the guy in the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in three months. COME ON!|
|There's always money in the banana stand.|
|You take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato—baby, you got a stew goin'!|
|-Can I open a can of soup for you?|
-Can it open a can?
-Can what open a can? Oh, God.
|The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called 'Hero Squad'.|
|I've made a huge mistake.|
|Now…who wants to take their top off?|
|I am Dr. Tobias Funke—or, with your help, 'Frightened Inmate #2'. And who is this shiny building of a man?|
|-You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.|
-To do what with them?
|-Sword of Destiny hundreds of years old. Comes with ancient warning—|
-Yeah, I make up my own patter. Just ring it up with the dong tea.
|-Okay, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh, I forgot; here in the states you call it a sausage in the mouth.|
-We just call it a sausage.
|-Besides, I am going to Annyong's soccer awards ceremony, and—|
|-I will have the 'Ike and Tina Tuna' |
-Plate or platter?
-I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
|-Te quiero. |
-I love you.
-Great. Now I'm late.
|There's just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.|
|You don't need double talk. You need Bob Loblaw.|
|-Well, guess who's been fired.|
-Michael fired you?
-No, I fired him. As a result, I'm no longer welcome in the office.
|-It's the girl who ripped my heart out, the girl whose face will always be etched in my mind.|
. . .