|There's no reason to be alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?|
|That's lieutenant Horowitz. Severe shell shock. He thinks he's Ethel Merman.|
|Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.|
|I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.|
|-You ever been in a cockpit before?|
-No, I've never even been up in a plane before.
-You ever seen a grown man naked?
|-How about some coffee, Johnny?|
|-This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.|
-A hospital! What is it?
-It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
|I had to ask the guy next to me to pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming.|
|It's true that one of the pilots is ill--slightly ill. But the other two pilots are fine.|
|Okay boys, let's get some pictures.|
|Oh, stewardess? I speak jive.|
|I've gotta go to the airport. You can let yourself out the back door. There's juice in the refrigerator.|
|Get that finger out of your ear! You don't know where that finger's been.|
|Listen Betty, don't start up with your 'White Zone' s*** again.|
-No, I've been nervous lots of times.
|-You have clearance, Clarence.|
-Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?
|-The fog is getting thicker.|
-And Leon's getting laaaaaarger.
|There's a sale at Penney's!|
|I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.|
|-Johnny what can you make out of this?|
-This? Well I could make a hat, or a broach, or a pterodactyl…
|…And that, as much as anything else, led to my drinking problem.|
|Surely you can't be serious.|
|No thank you, I take it black. Like my men.|
|What a pisser.|
|Hey, knock a self a pro, slick.|