Community or 30 Rock?

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Can you name the TV comedy, Community or 30 Rock, that is quoted below?

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QuoteC or 3?
Well, I don't believe in dibs, or love at first sight, or love, or best friends, or doing things, but it's good you brought this to me.
I could hardly drink my morning shower scotch.
-I think you should play the role of my father.

-I don't wanna be your father.

-That's perfect. You already know your lines.
Anyone I ever dated in high school turned out to be either gay or a girl dressed as a guy to get a journalism scholarship.
-Do you know what Dylan Thomas said about death?

-No, tell me.

-Okay, bluff called.
Well, I hate to say I told you so, so I'll shout it through cuffed hands: I TOLD YOU SO!
Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?
-I'm so sorry.

-No, you're right. My feet are long and stupid. You can't unring that bell.
The Italians have a saying...'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' And, although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct.
No, I can't sleep. You sleep. I'm awake. I don't sleep. I don't blink. Am I bird? No. I'm a bat. I am Batman. Or am I? Yes, I am Batman.
If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn’t see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
I was going to bring dessert tomorrow, so are there any foods that are making you nauseous lately? Please don't say a half sleeve of Oreos.
What is this, Horseville? Because I’m surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!
Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.
He never wears a shirt; he never wears shoes: Why hasn’t he died from lack of service?
Those jeans make you look like a Mexican sports reporter.
It's been a pleasure fighting with you. Some of us won't make it. But there is a place where we will all meet again. And that place is Denny's.
We are the only species on earth that observes Shark Week. Sharks don't even observe Shark Week, but we do.
-I knew you would do this, take a happy moment and ruin it, just like you did when I won that scholarship at my high school graduation.

-It should've gone to the other boy!
You can't force the fate, you just have to let it wash over you like a spray tan that won't take because your skin is too oily.
-How many times have I come over and painted your apartment?

-Three, and by the way stop doing that.
This isn't even baby vomit on my jacket. It's mine. All mine.
-It's a rare condition called hyper-virility. Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg like bullets. Can you believe that?

-I can't. But you can, so that's fine.
I discovered at a very early age that if I talk long enough, I can make anything right or wrong. So either I'm God or truth is relative. In either case, booyah!
QuoteC or 3?
I will see you at 6:30, or as we English call it, gravedigger's biscuits.
Thanks, it's my own recipe. I use cheddar cheese instead of water.
I'll give you the same advice my father gave me the night I lost my virginity: just pick one; they all cost the same.
-I'm a sexy dracula.

-You mean a vampire?

-I don't need to know which dracula I am to be a dracula. Nerd.
-This sword was one of a kind. It was forged by my ancestors.

-I hump it.
Oh, here comes stinky nerd face. Remember, we don't stop until he's crying.
Sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing. I read that on a tea bag.
Are you two an item? And if so, would that item be impervious to sabotage?
-Can we talk? One 'ten' to another?

-I'm an eleven, but continue.
-The bathrooms are so much cleaner than at home. I don't know how they do it.

-They clean them.
There's something about you lately... makes me want to put my feet in your mouth.
-Don't sue a stripper.

-Why not?

-She's a stripper. Life sued her, and she lost.
As soon as my beeper went off I knew it was you. I've got a personalized vibration for each chick I used to put it to.
-You don't have a bag?

-I could never deprive the world of the portion of my chest the strap would cover.
Oh that's sarcasm, but I forgot to inflect.
-Listen, dammit, I'm a doctor.

-Of history. In what emergency would you be necessary? If someone wanted to know whether the sixties were awesome or not?

-They were!
My nephew Jim was born on the treadmill at Bally Total Fitness; 20% incline.
I didn't realize we were really good friends. I figured we were more like Chandler and Phoebe; they never really had stories together...Sure, I'll do it, Chandler.
The kid's gonna be a star, he's a young 'the Asian guy from Lost.'
I wanna see if those wiener dogs are born that way, or if they start off normal and then get wiener.
-Do you and your wife ever fight?

-Not all the time. After her hysterectomy, she was in a coma, briefly.
Do you need a sex tape released? 'Cause I got a weird one; it's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me.
-I'm feeling pretty drunk.

-Well, it's business drunk, it's like rich drunk. Either way, it's legal to drive.
Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.

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