|Remember, Stan: win or lose…those are your two options, win or lose.|
|No, that’s ignorant…they’re ignorant…|
|Aaron, I’m standing at the time portal, which scientists say follows “Terminator” rules. That is, it’s one-way only and you can’t go back.|
|I thought this was America! Is this America, huh? I’m sorry I thought this was America!|
|They took our juuuuuuurrrbs!|
|And Matthew, how come a transvestite donkey-witch is standing next you and why is it wearing a dress?|
|They did that on ‘The Simpsons’.|
|Oh, let me taste your tears, Scott! Mmm…your tears are so yummy and sweet!|
|Respect my authorit-uh!|
|You are SO sued!|
|-Mom, what’s six times eight?|
-Oh, sweetie, those are two completely different numbers.
|Our sources say that in just one week, it has come up with over one thousand movie ideas. 800 of which feature Adam Sandler.|
|Hold on, you guys. I actually have another power: I can see into the future too—but better than Kyle. Let me try.|
|You kids need to understand something, okay? Sometimes lying is okay. Like, when you know what’s good for people more than they do.|
|Lemmiwinks, you must find your way out of this place or you will surely die.|
|I can’t remember, it all looks the same. Hold on, let me get high. |
|(sings) “When you’re a cloooooown….nobody takes ya serious-leeee…”|
|Please don’t ice me, homey.|
|Don’t bury your son’s body in the Indian burial ground, Stoch! (The one that’s right up over there behind the Anderson’s barn.) Sometimes…dead is better.|
|Snooki want smoosh-smoosh!|
|-Somebody once said “You don’t have to be a great man, just be a man.”|
-Who said that?
-You did, Jesus.
|-Oh my God, he killed Kenny!|
|I hope now you boys see that this is totally serial.|
|-Excuse me, but I’m a sheep herder.|
-It’s pronounced “hoarding”. And yes, you are.
|Screw you guys—home.|