-Now when I say 'Hello Mr. Thompson' and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
-No problem.
-Hello, Mr. Thompson...

-Remember when I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive?
-That's because you were drunk!

-Get out of there. My family needs to use your bomb shelter.
-Uh oh, I kind of figured this might happen, so I built the shelter big enough for both our families.

-You are all very good players.
-We are all very good players.
-You will beat Shelbyville.
-We will beat Shelbyville.
-You will give 110 percent.

-Uh, Wallet Inspector.
-Oh, okay. Here you go. I believe that's all in order.

-Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
-Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?

Homer, there's no easy way to tell you this: I'm afraid I'm gonna have to saw your arms off.

Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?

Oh, I'm sorry. We were talking about chocolate.

Marge, I never graduated from High School.

Shall I send out for some Chinese?

-If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home.
-You already put me in a home.

-That doll is evil, I tell ya! Evil! Evil!
-Grampa, you've said that about all the presents.

Hey, they're playing the elephant song.

-Boy, you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning!
-You mean 'Shining'.

-But what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say, 'Die Bart, Die?'
-No, that's German for 'The Bart, The.'

-Take him away, boys.
-Hey, I'm the chief here! Bake him away, toys.
-What'd you say, Chief?

-Oh, run along, Quimby. I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere.
-Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter.
-Hey, I got pictures of you, Quimby.

-Yer gotta redda kid forrad yarrar!
-Homer, what is it? Slow down.
-J'yer gedda ferda redderarrar.
-Think before you say each word.

-You're off the case, McGonigle!
-You're off YOUR case, Chief!
-What does that mean exactly?

-Oh, twenty dollars...I wanted a peanut!
-Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
-Explain how.
-Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

-You call that a knife? *This* is a knife.
-That's not a knife; that's a spoon.

Hello, sir. Are you here for Coping with Senility?

-Up and atom.
-Up and at them.
-Up and atom!
-Up and at them!
-Up and ATOM!
-Up and AT THEM!

Homer, there's a family of possums in here!