|-I can only assume you are Eric Cartman because you're fat.|
-Well, you're wrong! I'm not Eric Cartman and he's not fat!
|Uh, Big Gay Al…It has recently come to our attention that you are…gay.|
|You can go one direction in life and just walk around hallways without a hallpass. Or you can see the light, brah.|
|Well, hopefully when we finish writin' all these verses, we won't be bi-curious no more, and then we can go home!|
|(sings) ''I cannot hear what they are saying! I cannot tell them how I feel!''|
|Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because it's pecker is on its head.|
|Science damn you, Unified Atheist League!|
|No, this isn't crazy. THIS-IS-LESBOS!|
|Poop-smearing is the hot ticket right now, Stan. Have you seen the poop swatches?|
|Ma'am I need to clear out your giggling stoners and drum circle-hippies right now, or they're going to attract something much worse.|
|My penis is on the loose! If you see it, just try to catch it with some cheese!|
|How do I reach these kiiiiiiiiids?|
|I didn't hear no bell.|
|(sings) ''Good evening frieeeeeeeeeends…!''|
|You don't! ****ing! Talk to me! Like that! You little! Piece of ****!|
|Ooh, ouch, ma'am please let go of that tight grip you have on my balls; 10 dollars? You're breaking my balls, ma'am.|
|Stan Marsh? More like Stan DARSH! Eheheheheheheh!|
|Don't fight it Kyle, it'll only take longer. Just slip into sweet unconsciousness.|
|-How spicy would you like your Chang sauce?|
-Can we just place our order please?
-Oh, man. I have no idea what's going on.
|-But fellas, if I dress up like a dog with a star in my eye, I'm gonna get grounded.|
-Shut up, Butters.
|Nobody better show up as The Crow. I'm serious, every costume party there's like 14 guys come dressed like The Crow.|
|(sings) ''I said 'what what, in the butt', I said 'what what, in the butt…'''|
|-Whoa. I think we just got put in our place.|
-Yeah. We just got Goth-served.
|Isn't she beautiful, scraping off the pudding with grace of a butterfly…|