|Quote||C, P, or O|
|You drive. I got a car full of fox meat.|
|My goal was to learn a new word every day, and I must say that it is going immensely.|
|At that moment, we stopped being a family, and started being a family...in italics.|
|-Do they do stuff to your butt?|
-Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?
-It's fine. I'll do it. I'm in.
|Am I going to tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.|
|The less I know about others' affairs, the happier I am. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.|
|Of all feelings to base a show around...'glee'? 'Thirst'--now that's a show I'd watch.|
|I'm sorry are you eating Turkey Chili off of a frisbee?|
|I'm gonna go see a man about some porcelain, you know what I mean? I'm not buying cocaine. I'm going to the bathroom. The wiz palace as I like to call it.|
|What sort of movie would Rudy have been if he'd just stopped and given up after two rejections? Would've been a lot shorter. Probably been a lot funnier.|
|What is it about me that make broken people flock to me? Is it my height? Do huddled masses mistake me for the statue of liberty?|
|Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don't Cost a Thing-which is based on Can't Buy Me Love, which was based on Kramer Vs. Kramer or something, which I think was Shakespeare.|
|You can yell at me all you want. I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of raft makes it go faster.|
| What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.|
|I call eggs pre-birds, or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks...food rakes.|
|No, we leave the TV on all day long so burglars think we're home when we're not. Which is my idea that I'm trying to patent.|
|-The problem right now is that he's calling me 'baby'. He's trying to hold my hands. It's getting a little relationship-y and...he gave me something.|
|Oh I'm serious, baby. I am Yahoo Serious. I'm Serious FM. Welcome to the world serious of seriousness sponsored by Honey Nut Seerioes.|
|-It was on company property, with company property. Double jeopardy-we're fine. |
-I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
-Oh, sorry: What is 'we're fine'.
|You should be like Calvin! His best friend was a tiger, he always went on dope adventures, and if anything stood in his way, he just peed on it!|
|I was never one to hold a grudge. My father held grudges. I'll always hate him for that.|
|-You're a football player. It's in your blood!|
|'When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.' I read that once. On a box of lemonade. But I like to think it applies to life.|
|I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have 'network connectivity problems'.|
|Why does the Sun rise in the morning? Why do magnets stick together? Because everybody says so. Everybody.|
|You know who has real conversations? Ants. They talk by vomiting chemicals in each other's mouths. They get right down to brass tacks.|