Can you name the complete Onion headlines by matching up the words from the three different columns? by druhutch

Can you name the complete Onion headlines by matching up the words from the three different columns?

created by druhutch

Enter a headline or 6-digit code (ex: '1b2m3k') in the box below
Correctly named answers will show up below
Answers do not have to be guessed in order
► INSTRUCTIONS: Match the 3 parts of the headline (from the columns marked '1st part', '2nd part', and '3rd part') and either type the headline out exactly as it appears...
OR-- You can now **just type in the 6-character code** (using a letter/number combo from each column)and match up the headline that way.
Source: Americas Finest News Source
Also try: _♦ Dumb Century Slot Machine ♦
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PLAY GAME

14:00

Show Missed Answers

National & World _{1st Part}
Beauty Of National Forest _[1A]
Factual Error _[1B]
FBI _[1C]
God _[1D]
Kevin Bacon _[1E]
Kim Jong Il _[1F]
Mexico _[1G]
Nasa _[1H]
Nation _[1I]
Nerf _[1J]
Poll: 1 In 5 Americans _[1K]
Pope _[1L]
Study: Dolphins _[1M]
Treasury Department _[1N]
Virgin Mary Statue _[1O]

National & World _{2nd Part}
Badly Needs _[2A]
Believe _[2B]
Completes 52-Year Mission _[2C]
Crying _[2D]
Demands _[2E]
Develops New Line _[2F]
Discontinues _[2G]
Enjoyed _[2H]
Found _[2I]
Hinting _[2J]
Killed _[2K]
Linked _[2L]
Not So Intelligent _[2M]
To Ease Up _[2N]
Unfolds _[2O]

National & World _{3rd Part}
At Retirement _[3A]
By Logger _[3B]
Easier Instructions _[3C]
For No Good Reason _[3D]
In Drug Deal _[3E]
Into Giant Robot _[3F]
Obama Is A Cactus _[3G]
Of Biological Weapons _[3H]
On Internet _[3I]
On Jesus Talk _[3J]
On Land _[3K]
Ones And Fives _[3L]
To Al-Qaeda _[3M]
To Find, Kill God _[3N]
Witness Protection Parade _[3O]

Local _{1st Part}
Armchair Quarterback _[4A]
Free Condom _[4B]
Frolicking Deer _[4C]
Hog _[4D]
Hungover Couple _[4E]
Lack of Second Car _[4F]
Local Anorexic _[4G]
Mail-Order Bride _[4H]
Man Running After Bus _[4I]
Marital Frustrations _[4J]
Newly Unearthed Time Capsule _[4K]
Pronunciation _[4L]
Realtor _[4M]
Urban Planner _[4N]
Web Of Lies _[4O]

Local _{2nd Part}
Actually Being Driven Mad _[5A]
Beaten _[5B]
Channeled _[5C]
Comes _[5D]
Corrected _[5E]
Delights _[5F]
Executed _[5G]
Gets _[5H]
Harsh Reminder _[5I]
Just Full _[5J]
Preserves _[5K]
Still _[5L]
Stuck In Traffic _[5M]
Surrounds _[5N]
Unaware _[5O]

Local _{3rd Part}
Blitzed _[6A]
Bus Occupants _[6B]
By Ticks _[6C]
Farmland Style _[6D]
In Wrong Color, Size _[6E]
Incorrectly _[6F]
Late Birthday Card _[6G]
Marriage _[6H]
Of Own Design _[6I]
Of Sexless Existence _[6J]
Of Useless Old Crap _[6K]
They Broke Up Last Night _[6L]
Through Thermostat _[6M]
Way Too Fat _[6N]
With Exposed Brick _[6O]

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There are 13 comments for this game.
(Warning: comments may contain spoilers)

Onion Headline Slot Machine Quiz

by druhutch

Created Sep 22, 2011 in Miscellaneous
Game Plays 1,937

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	druhutch:	Sep 23rd, 2011 at 01:58 GMT		3 points
	I had no idea how much time to put on this, so if it's too much or too little feel free to let me know.:)

	bondfool:	Sep 23rd, 2011 at 03:41 GMT		4 points
	God bless The Onion.

	Tahnan:	Sep 23rd, 2011 at 13:19 GMT		3 points
	I finished with under a minute left, so the time seems right to me. (Note: "Retirment" misspelled.)

	metagloria:	Sep 23rd, 2011 at 15:38 GMT		3 points
	I could have used an extra minute or two, but it took me a while to piece anything together along the bottom. So the time's probably about right. Excellent quiz!

	BoL:	Sep 23rd, 2011 at 17:22 GMT		2 points
	Yeah, timing is good. Now I wish you just had a link to each of those articles!

	confused:	Sep 23rd, 2011 at 22:05 GMT		7 points
	Wasted a lot of time making random funny headlines out of these. Then I realized the "real" thing was usually better. Great fun!

	MSUKent:	Sep 24th, 2011 at 00:40 GMT		5 points
	I definitely needed more time but I appear to be in the minority. Nevertheless, fun (and funny) quiz.

	lucyzoe:	Sep 24th, 2011 at 19:49 GMT		-1 points
	I gave up because I couldn't get any of the answers, but how am I supposed to match up the real headlines from all the letters and dots that appear? Too bad, "Study: Dolphins Linked to Al-Qaeda" wasn't an answer.

	druhutch:	Sep 24th, 2011 at 19:54 GMT		3 points
	@lucyzoe: The real headlines come up as bonuses when you type them in. Otherwise, unfortunately, you don't get to see them. The letters and dots mark out the words you've used so that you know you've used them. (It was originally just dots. I added letters when I realized someone could type in a '●' and win the whole game instantly.)

	debbiedoesnothin:	Sep 25th, 2011 at 00:30 GMT		2 points
	I wanted more time. I had to scroll quite a bit for the bottom section. Really fun quiz.

	druhutch:	Sep 25th, 2011 at 16:59 GMT		3 points
	I've added two minutes, since there is a lot of typing involved. Thanks for the pick, Hejman!

	msouza:	Oct 1st, 2011 at 17:14 GMT		4 points
	The only complaint is that the span from the entry box to the bottom of the quiz is too big for my screen--lots of scrolling back and forth to see the bottom of the quiz. Great quiz, though. Oh, the Onion.

	TheHYPO:	Oct 13th, 2011 at 13:55 GMT		1 point
	Good quiz. I note that you did add codes to the green column on the 1/4 columns but not the others. Perhaps you could add them to the other columns as well. As I went along, I found it easier to see what codes were blank when I had the used costs listed in that column (and the codes are a bit small in the white boxes)