South Park: Absurd Solutions

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Can you name the absurd solutions the characters of South Park have conjured up?

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ProblemSolutionConceiver(s)
Stan and Butters find out their future selves are just actors hired by their parentsCartman
Stan doesn't want to vote since both of the candidates are equally worthlessPrinciple Victoria/Mayor Daniels
Cartman gives Kyle AIDsKyle, Cartman & Magic Johnson
The town of Beaverton floods meaning a new ice age is supposedly dueRandy Marsh
The parents purposely give their kids chickenpox so they will become immuneStan, Kyle, Kenny & Cartman
Terrorists threaten to attack if Family Guy shows an image of MuhammadRandy Marsh
Willzyx, the orca whale, is dying and needs to escape the planetSea Park Employees
Randy wants a prescription for medicinal marijuanaRandy Marsh
ProblemSolutionConceiver(s)
Mr. Garrison and his new assistant are making the children uncomfortableThe Parents
Canada needs more moneyWorld Canadian Bureau President
The towns people begin to spontaneously combustRandy Marsh
The economy is depressed due to frivolous spendingRandy Marsh
Jackovasaurs go from being nearly extinct to over populated and horribly annoyingMayor Daniels
South Park Elementary is overrun by vampire posersThe Goth Kids
The airline companies are expensive and unreasonableMr. Garrison
A child molester is arrested in the town and panic ensues'Rabbling' Mob of Parents

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