| Quote | Movie |
| 'Ok people, tomorrow morning 10am Santa's coming to-' 'SANTA!!!! Oh my gawd! Santa here?! I know him!' | |
| 'Who are you' 'Well actually I am a dentist.' 'You're a dentist?' 'Well, I want to be someday. Right now I'm just an elf.' | |
| 'You'll shoot your eye out, kid. Merry Christmas; ho, ho, ho.' 'No....' | |
| 'This is a full blown, 4-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since' | |
| 'that Grinch even took the last can of who hash.' | |
| 'And then when you get the toy, it breaks and you can't fix it because it's that little cheap plastic. You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to walk up in that office' | |
| 'and ye shall fine the babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lieing in a manger' | |
| 'Isn't it wonderful?! I'm going to jail. - Merry Christmas!' | |
| 'Oh you're right mommy. If things don't turn out right the first time, you've still got to believe!' | |
| 'God bless us. God bless us, everyone! It feels like Christmas....' | |