Good Evening. I'm Chevy Chase...

That's 'violence' on television. Not violins, violence.

What do health clubs, sweat and saunas have to do with cigarettes?

There's an old saying: 'Behind every successful man there's a woman.' But you wouldn't know about that, Dan, because there's no old saying about what's behind a miserable failure.

I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy.

By the way, it's official...

What is that bewitching scent you're wearing?

Madonna criticizes New York City. Saying that it doesn't feel alive, crackling with that synergy that it had in the 1980s. Said New York City:

On Wednesday, the 73rd Annual Rockefeller Christmas tree was lit.

Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party Time!

I got a FEVER!

First up, I am 35 years old.

When I was at Harvard I smoked weed every day. I cheated every test...

I got my swim trunks.

My name is Sally O'Malley.

Talking it up, on the Barry Gibbs talk show...

Welcome to Coffee Talk...

(Sean Connery to Alex Trebek) What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends...

That's all the time we have. Join us next week with our guest Albert Einstein. Well apparently Albert Einstein died 42 years ago.

Paul Newman's half Jewish. Goldie Hawn's half too. Put them together...

Hi I'm Buh-weet. Remember me?

I am dark and you are light.

-I am Hans. -And I am Franz.

-Oh my god! Glenn is so mad. We were trying to be nice to him. - I know what he wants!

I am the gatekeeper.

Live from New York