| Post | Character | Musical |
| Today I had to kiss an anvil salesman to keep him from exposing my love interest as a con-man to the entire town. FML | |
| Today, winning the love of my life depends on the outcome of a craps game. FML | |
| Today I finally succeeded in my life long dream of making my daughter a star... she's a stripper. FML | |
| Today my girlfriend left me...for a woman. FML | |
| Today I committed suicide in a barn after shooting the President of the United States. FML | |
| Today I finally came to terms with my past and had a killer audition! Then, I broke my leg. FML | |
| Today, I found out that the celebration in honor of me I prophesized, was actually in honor of my 'death.' FML | |
| Today I discovered my boyfriend is now a Nazi FML | |
| Today I found a hair in my meat pie... and a finger nail.... and..... wait..... FML | |
| Today my master was a jerk so I got transformed into a clock. FML | |
| | Post | Character | Musical |
| Today my mom died and a giant wants to kill me. FML | |
| Five years ago, I kicked my lover out of our pop group for being fat and grumpy. Today, I found out she was pregnant .... with my kid. FML | |
| Today I was hoping to go home to see my wife after being away six months, now I have to write this stupid declaration. FML | |
| Today I felt pretty...and my brother and lover died. FML | |
| Today I discovered my guardian angel is actually just a man who likes to watch me from behind mirrors. FML | |
| Today I'm being buried alive because I fell in love with a girl. FML | |
| Today my wife still has not slept with me, it's been 11 months since we got married. FML | |
| Today I was declared not guilty, but it doesn't matter because I'm not famous anymore. FML | |
| Today I discovered the girl I love shoots a gun WAY better than me. FML | |
| Today I got married, and now my husband's being tried for potential murder. FML | |
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