Quote | Character |
'I thought you'd been kidnapped by some crazy Sandanistas.' | |
'I'm going to go take a shower and leave you alone to make out with your sock drawer.' | |
'They've just upgraded you to a queen size bed jacuzzi tub junior suite in hell.' | |
'Ricky Ricardo didn't know, Dick Van Dyke didn't know, and by gum, if it's good enough for Rick and Dick, it's good enough for me.' | |
'You brought your own mattress?' | |
'As they're ransacking your room, profeesional thieves typically start at the bottom drawer and work their way up.' | |
'I was going to wait until you called me, but my life isn't as long as yours. Did you sit on the couch?' | |
'I wore a bracelet to school today. My parents were called, there was a special service in the chapel and I've been ordered to a soul searching seminar next week.' | |
'Now I'm sure its tempting to emotionally stunt your daughter so she'll move back home and take care of you in your old age.' | |
'A child is not a duvet cover. You can't just take it back if it doesn't like you.' | |
'Do not say the 'D' word to me, Lane. Dave is dead to me.' | |
'You don't want some crazed knife wielding gunman at your throat and the neighbors are going like 'Is that a fan?', 'Did I leave the water running?' | |
'I'm going to kill that mail carrier. I don't care if he doesn't have a tongue.' | |
| Quote | Character |
'Yes, about the Dragonfly, or deodorant. Places to buy it, how to apply it, that sort of thing.' | |
'It's not an official club or anything. There's no hats. At least not until we can all agree on a color.' | |
'He wanted 'Davey' if it was a boy and 'Colgate if it was a girl.' | |
'I missed a call from my meat guy because I was on the phone discussing Gunsmoke's deviated septum.' | |
'What do you think the outlook for this lawn jockey is? . . . Emily would hate it.' | |
'Men respond subconsciously to a woman's pheromones. You should run in place until he gets here. It will give you a nice musk.' | |
'How come the puppy doesn't pee on your bed?' | |
'I vote we get rid of craft corner.' | |
'You're beyond monk. You're uber-monk.' | |
'Boy they have these places all over. Two in Miami, Detroit, hey, two in my hometown. Now that's a great town.' | |
'People have studied the mints and they found traces of urine in them. So they're urine mints.' | |
'I love that its ok to be Russian again.' | |
'And then the minute I get up and go to the bathroom, she is supposed to sneak out and leave me here humiliated.' | |
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