| Quote | Rest of quote | Movie/Who Said/Missing Words |
|---|
| Apparently there's some sort of high-toned and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen, such as yourselves | |
| Sticks and stones, love. I saved your life, you saved mine. | |
| Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it | |
| Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict | |
| Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, | |
| And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail | |
| Where is it? Where is the | |
| Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, | |
| Guard the boat, mind the tide | |
| No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, | |
| | Quote | Rest of quote | Movie/Who Said/Missing Words |
|---|
| These cages we're in | |
| Did no one come to save me | |
| Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past | |
| Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge-ish. | |
| Nobody move! | |
| There's not been a gatherin' like this | |
| Thank goodness for that, 'cause if I wasn't | |
| You may kiss - You may kiss | |
| World's still the same. | |
| Well, then you wouldn't be here, would you? So you can't be here! Q.E.D. | |
|
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Mitch Hedberg Jokes
