| Text | Card |
| 'We're not here. You don't see us. The government did NOT send us.' | |
| 'Also known as tornado magnets.' | |
| 'All-purpose... all of the time...' | |
| 'Why do you hang around with THOSE stiffs?' | |
| 'Guess it comes from holey cows...' | |
| 'Great on strawberry shortcake, banana splits, chocolate pudding...' | |
| 'Noses run in our family.' | |
| 'It'll feel better when it quits hurting.' | |
| 'It's as American as... as... something...' | |
| 'Could serve as a safety precaution for those who smoke in bed.' | |
| 'Food fight!' | |
| 'Please stop.' | |
| 'We'd throw some joke in here, but we're afraid of getting sued.' | |
| 'Wait - don't stick that fork in there!' | |
| ''Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.' - Alexander Pope' | |
| | Text | Card |
| 'There's no better way to serve it.' | |
| 'If it's too loud - you're too old.' | |
| 'International travel, just around the corner.' | |
| 'I see a Green Apple Card in your future.' | |
| 'Let's keep this brief.' | |
| 'You said a mouthful.' | |
| 'Statistically safer than driving... unless you crash.' | |
| 'Looks like plastic, tastes like lemons.' | |
| 'Crack it, snap it, pop it, and blow it!' | |
| 'When you're too cheap to buy a surfboard.' | |
| 'Famous for their bodies of work.' | |
| 'It's either this or chemical warfare.' | |
| 'It was either that or hire someone to do my taxes!' | |
| 'Population unknown.' | |
| 'We've fingered the cause of the pain.' | |
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