If Tom Cruise was a...

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Can you name the If Tom Cruise was a...?

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If Tom Cruise...he'd be....
If he was always asking for money, he'd be
If he worked with animals, he'd be
If he had diarrhea, he'd be
If he was from Israel, he'd be
If he were a lawyer, he'd be
If he were a trickster, he'd be
If he managed a church, he'd be
If he played pool, he'd be
If he liked flashy clothing, he'd be
If he was a boxer, he'd be
If he inspired an artist, he'd be
If he sang sad songs, he'd be
If Tom Cruise...he'd be....
If he slept a lot, he'd be
If he was a cobbler, he'd be
If he were an overeater, he'd be
If he was a heavy drinker, he'd be
If he worked in a soup kitchen, he'd be
If he were a detective, he'd be
If he were unlucky, he'd be
If he were a reporter, he'd be
If he were into arts and crafts, he'd be
If he were Mr. T impersonator, he'd be
If he were infected, he'd be

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