If Tom Cruise was a...

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Can you name the If Tom Cruise was a...?

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If Tom Cruise...he'd be....
If he was from Israel, he'd be
If he was always asking for money, he'd be
If he had diarrhea, he'd be
If he were unlucky, he'd be
If he were a lawyer, he'd be
If he were a reporter, he'd be
If he were into arts and crafts, he'd be
If he were a trickster, he'd be
If he managed a church, he'd be
If he was a cobbler, he'd be
If he was a boxer, he'd be
If he played pool, he'd be
If Tom Cruise...he'd be....
If he liked flashy clothing, he'd be
If he were Mr. T impersonator, he'd be
If he was a heavy drinker, he'd be
If he were an overeater, he'd be
If he were infected, he'd be
If he slept a lot, he'd be
If he worked with animals, he'd be
If he worked in a soup kitchen, he'd be
If he were a detective, he'd be
If he inspired an artist, he'd be
If he sang sad songs, he'd be

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