| Could you send your best wine to Caroline, and tell her when I said 'hi' I meant 'I'll take you like a stallion.' |
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| So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can't, because they're both idiots. |
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| Do you know how many cool guys live in New York? There's like... Lou Reed, man! |
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| What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you always so damn nervous? |
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| Well, you know, on the way to the market, I tried to run over a cat. But they are just so darn speedy! |
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| Life is so complicated. You get old and die. Thank God I'm still young and hot! |
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| 'I didn't mean to cheat, but she forced me. Downright coerced me.' [pauses] That's pretty good. |
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| I am widely acknowledged as the space cowboy of this group. And I also call midnight toker!! |
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| If somebody doesn't tell me I'm cute in the next five minutes, my head will explode. |
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| I sat next to God once on the bus. He told me the meaning of life and then he gave me a pretzel. |
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| Donna, those panties you found in the back of the Vista Cruiser...they were my panties! |
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| Eh, you kids. Standing around the driveway. It's so darn cute! . . You know, you may not realize it, but this is the most fun you're ever gonna have. |
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TV Professions II 
How I Met Your Mother Quotes 
Nickelodeon Shows by Character
