| FML | Historical Figure / Event | Place & Date |
| Today, I finally decided to mail that letter I've been meaning to send. FML | |
| Today, it was announced I would be king. My uncle Richard told me the afterparty was in the Tower. FML | |
| Today, I finally finished renovating my bedroom in Potala. Then the Chinese turned up. FML | |
| Today, I went to the Moon. I drew the short straw and had to stay inside. FML | |
| Today, I heard there was a bread shortage amongst the peasants. I suggested they should try something sweeter. FML | |
| Today, I was preparing for battle. Turns out we are more outnumbered than I thought. FML | |
| Today, the boat everyone said was unsinkable went to sea. It sunk. FML | |
| Today, I arrived at St Helena. And I thought Elba was bad. FML. | |
| Today, I thought I'd try to go out and be a bit more cultured. The theatre was a bad choice. FML | |
| Today, Hitler invaded Poland. He told me he was happy with Czechoslovakia. FML | |