Guess the Quote: The Office (US) 2

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Can you name the Office Character Whose Quote This Is?

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QuoteCharacter
I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry.
I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael would sell the building for some magic beans.
Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God. What am I saying?
This is not the first time rumors about me being gay have come up. Twice before actually. Just a weird coincidence.
I tried, I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend but that is like trying to be friends with an evil... snail. I feel like I'm dying inside.
That's cool. Hey, you know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed.
They say if you're nervous around someone you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on... or a funny coat.
This is great. My ex-wife's going to be so pissed. For once daddy's gonna be a hero.
Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause.
QuoteCharacter
Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.
All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigar and I'm not stopping for anybody.
You should order the most expensive thing on the menu, so he knows you're worth it.
It's not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress.
So that is why I have to leave at 5:00 on Tuesday, it's to pick up my little sisters from school. We're really tight. We're like the Kardashians.
How about, 'I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form?'
That's when somebody really gets in your face, you know, you just... start tickling them.
Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

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