| Quote | Character |
|---|
| That's cool. Hey, you know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed. | |
| I always knew that the branch would shut down someday. I just figured it would be because Michael would sell the building for some magic beans. | |
| I consider myself a good person, but I'm gonna try to make him cry. | |
| It's not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress. | |
| So that is why I have to leave at 5:00 on Tuesday, it's to pick up my little sisters from school. We're really tight. We're like the Kardashians. | |
| Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh my God. What am I saying? | |
| I tried, I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend but that is like trying to be friends with an evil... snail. I feel like I'm dying inside. | |
| Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton. | |
| All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigar and I'm not stopping for anybody. | |
| | Quote | Character |
|---|
| How about, 'I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form?' | |
| Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life. | |
| This is great. My ex-wife's going to be so pissed. For once daddy's gonna be a hero. | |
| This is not the first time rumors about me being gay have come up. Twice before actually. Just a weird coincidence. | |
| You should order the most expensive thing on the menu, so he knows you're worth it. | |
| That's when somebody really gets in your face, you know, you just... start tickling them. | |
| They say if you're nervous around someone you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on... or a funny coat. | |
| Oh yes I will work out today. I will work out a way to avoid running for a stupid cause. | |
|
The Office Surnames 
The Office A-Z 
The Office: Break Me Off A Piece of That...
