The Roast of AL Fan Bases

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Can you name the AL teams based on the roast of their fan bases?

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You claim you're 'tough', yet your stadium is always empty on hot days, tough it up rednecks
You have a beautiful stadium, yet more fans from the opposition go there than you, but hey, thank god you're a country boy
The stadium is boring, the team is boring, no wonder you always fall asleep, no Black Hole at these games
Your most famous fan is a creepy old man banging a drum, your team sucks, and your city sucks at sports in general as well
It took you forever to win, and when you finally did, nobody cared, more people cared what day the ivy would grow back across town
You care more about the NHL draft than your team, your team will never compete in the division you're in
Your team is so pathetic you go to the stadium to watch the fountain show rather than the team
You're more concerned about the beach ball headed your way rather than the game, that trip to Disneyland tomorrow is more exciting to you as well
You didn't know you had a baseball team until 2008, when they started playing well, but you still don't see them play, you don't deserve a baseball franchise
Your team has been mediocre the past few years after a surprise WS visit, but hey, at least you have that great job to look forward to.... oh wait
Overly obsessive and annoying, you want people to envy you after a win, and feel sorry for you after a loss, get a life
You only go to games to get drunk and get in a fight. When asked to name 10 Hall of Famers from your team, you pause and just say how many championships the team has won
Ahhh yes, you have a new stadium, always doing great with little money... only to lose yet another ALDS to the Yankees
You act like The Kid and an asian man are gods, too bad your team sucks and has never even been close to winning

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