| Roast | Team |
|---|
| You have a beautiful stadium, yet more fans from the opposition go there than you, but hey, thank god you're a country boy | |
| You care more about the NHL draft than your team, your team will never compete in the division you're in | |
| Ahhh yes, you have a new stadium, always doing great with little money... only to lose yet another ALDS to the Yankees | |
| You claim you're 'tough', yet your stadium is always empty on hot days, tough it up rednecks | |
| It took you forever to win, and when you finally did, nobody cared, more people cared what day the ivy would grow back across town | |
| You only go to games to get drunk and get in a fight. When asked to name 10 Hall of Famers from your team, you pause and just say how many championships the team has won | |
| You didn't know you had a baseball team until 2008, when they started playing well, but you still don't see them play, you don't deserve a baseball franchise | |
| | Roast | Team |
|---|
| The stadium is boring, the team is boring, no wonder you always fall asleep, no Black Hole at these games | |
| Overly obsessive and annoying, you want people to envy you after a win, and feel sorry for you after a loss, get a life | |
| Your team has been mediocre the past few years after a surprise WS visit, but hey, at least you have that great job to look forward to.... oh wait | |
| Your most famous fan is a creepy old man banging a drum, your team sucks, and your city sucks at sports in general as well | |
| You act like The Kid and an asian man are gods, too bad your team sucks and has never even been close to winning | |
| You're more concerned about the beach ball headed your way rather than the game, that trip to Disneyland tomorrow is more exciting to you as well | |
| Your team is so pathetic you go to the stadium to watch the fountain show rather than the team | |
|
MLB Teams 
NBA Teams 
4-Sport Cities
