What is your name, boy ?

I want my mother.

You've taken a vow of silence, how fascinating.

Baldric, that is the worst plan since Abe Lincoln said to his wife...

This is the stickiest situation since...

Bloody potatoes.

Tell me, Brother Baldrick, what exactly did God do to the Sodomites?

I don't take kindly to insults.

Sir, I have been unable to replace the Dictionary.

Baldrick, have you no idea what irony is?

That's right. Flossy. Do you remember what happened to Flossy?

If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?

It will be a great day tomorrow for we nobles.

But I've been in your family since 1532!

He murdered his whole family!

Yes Baldrick. Let us not forget you tried to solve the problem of your mother's low ceiling by...

I sit on Nathaniel.

This is a different thing.

Chiswick, remind me to send flowers to the King of France in sympathy for the death of his son.

That you, Percy -- Lord Percy...

What can I do to a woman that I can't do to you?

I've got a plan so cunning...

I haven't forgotten, it's a rhetorical question.

Never have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity!

I meant a little prick on your finger!

Hold on. I've got this big growth in the middle of my face.

You are last in God's great chain.

Did all those men die in vain on the fields of Agincourt?

Ha! Some hope - he's the most overrated human being since...

Your plum duff tastes like it's a molehill decorated with rabbit droppings.