| Scene/Plot/Idea | Movie | Year |
| Why did the camera just zoom in on Stellan SkarsgÄrd's face? Also, did the tile dolphin just magically magnify? | |
| Why did she just tie his shoe? | |
| I know it's incredibly uplifting, but I still really wish he didn't imagine like half the movie. | |
| So they're not even going to mention or question why the Secret Service agent is helping the terrorists. Cool. | |
| So they're in Washington, DC but there's also a desert with an airfield outside the Smithsonian? | |
| Why doesn't he time travel anywhere cool? It's not like he shows back up with a laser gun or a dinosaur egg. | |
| So you brought an aircraft carrier, a fleet of warships, a platoon of marines, and basically the might of the US military and you aren't going to kill one dinosaur? | |
| Let's make a movie about the Battle of Guadalcanal but use lots of whiny prose to tell the story. Also, the guy from Ninja Turtles plays one of the leads. | |
| Sometimes I miss Jack Bauer when I watch classic films. The man is in the church where they have his son kidnapped! Shoot someone! Snap someone's neck! | |
| So you know the story of one of the most famous and accomplished generals in history who conquered the known world by the time he was 30? Let's make a movie about how he was gay. | |
| Why does Kurt Russell play two characters in the same movie? It's not like we can't tell it's him just because one of the characters has a mustache. | |
| In the last scene you can totally see Hamish's rubber battle axe flopping around. Doesn't ruin the movie or the scene, I just wanted to mention it. | |
| The leather clad stripper terrorist rings the doorbell before she pushes the button (this in addition to many, many other faults of the film). Denver's not next to the ocean. | |
| Oh my God. The Regina Spektor song at the end as the children are leaving made we want to cut myself, the film reel, and anyone involved in the decision to include it. | |
| So they geared up for this epic final battle and then lightning scared everyone so much they didn't even fight. BORING. | |
| I hope when I'm thirty or fourty all I want is a divorce, weed, a job flipping burgers, and my daughter's friend. Oh wait, that's almost as stupid as watching a bag. It's a bag. | |
| Why did they ruin the end with Ashton Kutcher leaning in the door of an elementary school classroom looking all seductive. I wish he had drowned. | |
| I actually enjoyed the fact that the man who once played a Mexican bandit earlier in his career played an old Jewish writer. Kate Winslet's still not attractive. | |
| Why did Emile Hirsch just look directly into the camera while eating his apple? | |
| What?!?!? He was dead the whole time? | |
| Unrated! Uncut! You still don't get to see Keira Knightley naked. | |