| Quote | Character |
|---|
| 'Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.' | |
| 'I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.' | |
| 'A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds...it makes ice' | |
| 'Relax? I can't relax! Nor can I yield, relent, or...Only two synonyms? Oh My God, I'm losing my my perspicacity! Aaaaa!' | |
| 'And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brually murdered last night.' | |
| 'Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that's a *really* useful invention!' | |
| 'I wish there was some other explanation for this. But there isn't. I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer!' | |
| 'To prove that this metal O is harmless, I will personally eat one! See, there's...Owwww! Oooh, boy! This thing is shredding my insides!' | |
| 'We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy' | |
| 'Dear Mr. President. There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot' | |
| 'Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1...2.' | |
| 'Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!' | |
| 'Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.' | |
| 'Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!' | |
| 'I was saying 'Boo-urns'.' | |
| | Quote | Character |
|---|
| 'Well, that's a lame excuse for an excuse. Ha!' | |
| 'Now lets all forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!' | |
| 'Uh, no, they're saying 'Boo-urns, Boo-urns' | |
| 'Me fail English? That's unpossible.' | |
| 'Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love.' | |
| 'Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!' | |
| 'Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.' | |
| 'That brown patch needs a little H2-oh, yeah!' | |
| 'Whoa, slow down there maestro. There's a *New* Mexico?' | |
| 'Marge, just about everything's a sin. Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom.' | |
| 'Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and replace 'dog' with 'son'.' | |
| 'Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?' | |
| 'If you want him to live through the night, I suggest you roll him onto his stomach.' | |
| 'Boy for sale! Boy for sale!' | |
|
The Simpsons 
Simpsons Characters Surnames 
Homerisms
