Television / Supernatural Quotes 2

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Can you name the episodes that these quotes are from?

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QuoteEpisode
DEAN: That Constance chick, what a bitch!
DEAN: Sam, I'm not going to make a left hand turn into oncoming traffic. I'm not suicidal.
DEAN: You're... dark.
SAM: I'm something called a Jared Padalecki. DEAN: So what, now you're Polish?
DEAN: You got ass-reamed in heaven and it is not of import?
MICHAEL: King or two queens? DEAN: Two queens. MICHAEL: Yeah, I bet.
BOBBY: Don't try to con a con man.
DEAN: You're not gonna try to kill me, are you? SAM: No. DEAN: Good, because that would be awkward.
DEAN: Well, you are a good looking fellow, but I don't swing that way.
DEAN: We had a plan, Matt, what happened to the plan?
CASTIEL: What? I like past Dean.
AUDREY: But now he's sad all the time, not ouch sad, but ouch in the head sad, says weird stuff, and smells like the bus.
MOTEL OWNER: One leather jacket, one sasquatch.
DEAN: It takes two to, you know, have hard core sex.
CHUCK: It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant! I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night level douchiness.
BOBBY: Now are we done feeling our feelings? Because I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts.
DEAN: Man, I look like one of the Blues Brothers. SAM: No, you look more like a seventh grader at his first dance.
DEAN: So what were you dreaming about? SAM: Lollipops and candycanes.
DEAN: Dude, you've been holding out on me. This college thing is awsome! SAM: This wasn't really my experience. DEAN: Let me guess; libraries, studying, straight A's. What a geek.
DEAN: 'Stripper suffocates dude with thighs'?
DEAN: I think I'll pass on the 72 virgins, thanks. I'm not that into prude chicks, anyway.
DEAN: Brother, I have been rehymenated.
BOBBY: Hi, glad to meet you. Bobby Singer. Paranoid bastard.
SAMUEL: She wants to hunt, she doesn't wanna hunt. Is this some female, time-of-the-month thing?
DEAN: Too many angels, Cas! I don't know who's on first, what's on second. CASTIEL: What is 'second'? DEAN: Don't start that.
CASTIEL: I found a liquor store. SAM: And? CASTIEL: And I drank it.
DEAN: Dude, you full on rebelled against heaven. Iniquity is one of the perks.
DEAN: I feel like a freaking soccer mom!
SAM: Close encounter? What kind? First, second? Third kind already? You'd better run, man, I think the fourth kind is a butt thing.
DEMON: And you know what's funny? DEAN: You wearing a soccer mom?
SAM: Don't use my razor!
SAM: You trust shady van guy, but not me?
SAM: Everybody's staring at us like we're child abusers! Feed it! DEAN: We fed it!
CASTIEL: I have a painful, burning sensation.
ALASTAIR: Something caught in my throat. I think it's my throat.
SAM: Dude, were you on my computer? DEAN: Uh, no. SAM: Oh, really? Because it's frozen now on bustyasianbeauties.com.
TESSA: You don't remember me? DEAN: Honestly, if I had a nickel for everytime I heard a girl say that.
MOLLY: Oh, thank God! DEAN: Call me Dean.
DEAN: Bite her. Don't leave teeth marks, though.
DEAN: What's in the box!
MEG: I am so not in the mood for this, I've just been shot!
HARRY: Rats are like the rats of the world.
QuoteEpisode
SAM: Hey, Dean. I was expecting, uh, I don't know, a hug, some holy water in the face, something.
SAM: She was a stripper? DEAN: Dude, her name was Jasmine.
DEATH: You and your brother keep coming back. You're an affront to the balance of the universe, and you cause disruption on a global scale.
DEAN: I just had a 12-inch herpe crawl out of my ear!
CASTIEL: It's starting. DEAN: Oh, you think, genius? CASTIEL: You don't have to be mean.
DEAN: You're a functioning... morons....
RUBY: What's black, white, and red all over?
AZAZEL: Oh, my! I'm shocked at this unforseen turn of events.
MISSOURI: Forgive this boy, he means well, he's just not the sharpest tool in the shed.
CASEY: Nice try but I think you just ordered a pizza.
SAM: It's a crocotta. DEAN'S VOICE: What's that? Some kind of sandwich?
SALEMAN: Well, aren't you a fussy one.
DEAN: Of course I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!
BOBBY: I'll follow. Don't be stopping to pee every ten minutes, either!
DEAN: So, what, you think there's a clinic out there somewhere for people who pop out of hell wrong?
DEAN: Kids are the best.
DEAN: I'm gonna need a bigger mouth.
SAM: Dean, it's Valentine's Day. Your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it? 'Unattached Drifter Christmas'?
DEAN: Dog- it's what's for dinner.
ASH: You boys die more than anyone I have ever met.
DEAN: That was my last quarter. Hey! You got any quarters?
CASTIEL: I don't understand your definition of good news.
DEAN: Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that? Seriously, is that like some sort of porn site?
DEAN: Come on you can tell me. Was it Angelina Jolie? SAM: No. DEAN: Brad Pitt?
CROWLEY: And yet, here I am, last place I should be, in the middle of the road, talking to Sam and Dean Winchester under a freaking spotlight!
DEAN: I thought you would have been like, 'No, we can't, he's human, it's wrong'.
DEAN: You got any more ammo? I'm low. BOBBY: Yeah, we got plenty. Just run back past the zombies. It's in the van where we left it. DEAN: A simple no would have been fine.
DEAN: That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels.
ERICA: And you're my paranoid schizophrenic with a narcissistic personality disorder and religious psychosis. Lucky me.
GRAVEYARD CARETAKER: Tell me, Agent Nugent, have you thought about where you might like to spend eternity? DEAN: All the damn time.
DEAN: And they jumped you? Must be getting a little rusty there, kiddo.
SAM: What kind of house doesn't have salt? Low-sodium freaks.
DEAN: Go have your Robin Williams 'Oh, Captain! My Captain!' moment.
DEAN: Shoulda cleaned the pipes. JO: What? DEAN: I, uh, I wish the pipes were cleaner.
CASTIEL: Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like explaining poetry to fish.
DEAN: Gumby Girl. Does that make me Pokey?
REBECCA: What do you think this is, Hooter's? DEAN: I wish.
SAM: No, we're not working for the mandroid!
DEAN: Yeah, well, if you were a six hundred year old hag and you could choose any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I would.
CASTIEL: If the pizza man truly loves this baby sitter why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she has done something wrong?
DEAN: Angel or not, I will stab you in your face.
LUCKY: Go to hell. SAM: Already been. Didn't agree with me.
QuoteEpisode
DEAN: Great, now I feel naked.
DEAN: Try Lautner. SAM: Wait, he's a werewolf. How do you even know who that is? DEAN: Are you kidding me, that kid's everywhere. It's a freaking nightmare.
DEAN: Yeah, I bet you're real proud of your kids, too. Oh, wait. I forgot. I wasted them.
CASTIEL: You pray too loud.
DEAN: 'I've decided, I'm going to give Stan my most precious gift'. SAM: Wow, that sounded really creepy coming out of your mouth. DEAN: I think I delivered it.
DEAN: I know. I should look like a Thriller video reject.
BECKY: Oh, my God. I love it when they talk at the same time!
DEAN: Hey, fellas! You gonna put the fear of god in me?
DEAN: Is it like 'protection from demons' salt or 'oops, I spilled the popcorn' salt?
DEAN: It's just an angel and a demon riding in the back seat. It's like the set up to a bad joke.
HARRY: Sweet Lord of the Rings.
DEAN: Be my Valentine? SAM: Dean, we're working. Put it back. DEAN: Come on, have a heart!
SAM: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
SAM: Next time I say 'let's keep driving', uh, let's keep driving.
DEAN: Now what do you say we destroy that ugly ass piece of dead thing?
MADISON: You know, for a steakout you're car's a bit conspicuous.
DEAN: I'm dating a nurse. That is so... respectable.
DEAN: Hey! You want some white meat, bitch?! I'm right here!
SAM: I miss conversations that didn't start with 'this killer truck'.
DEAN: I haven't even seen House of Wax.
DEAN: I'll tell you one thing, there's no way I'm kissing a damn frog.
CROWLEY: Been making merry, have we? BOBBY: Bite me. CROWLEY: If that's your thing.
DEAN: Marshal Eastwood. Clint Eastwood. This here's Walker. He's a Texas Ranger.
DEAN: This is the currency of the realm.
CHUCK: No, he like exploded. Like a water balloon full of chunky soup.
SAM: My God, am I really that gawky?
DEAN: Did Grandma ever piss off a gypsy?
DEAN: This map was totally worth the five bucks!
DEAN: Put the lotion in the basket!
CASTIEL: It isn't the Horn of Truth. DEAN: What are you talking about? You were gone for like two seconds. Where did you look? CASTIEL: Everywhere.
TRACY: Just look for a van with a barbarian queen painted on the side.
DEAN: And that is my word of the day.
SAM: We saw the second largest ball of twine in the continental U.S. Awesome.
DEAN: Dude, too much information. SAM: Hey, I told you I was coming clean. DEAN: Yeah, but now I feel dirty.
DEAN: You're the shortbus... shortbus.
SAM: He's famous, kind of. DEAN: For what, douchebaggery?
DEAN: If it makes you feel any better, bigfoot's a hoax.
DEAN: Well, you're a son of a bitch. GORDON: That's my momma you're talking about.
DEAN: I gotta say, man, you really got around. I mean, soulless or not, I'm actually kind of impressed.
DEAN: You're gonna get me some pie!
DEAN: If you say 'I told you so', I swear to God all start swinging.
DEAN: So what, you're like a Delorian without enough Plutonium? CASTIEL: I don't understand that reference.

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