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Can you name the FMLs based on lyrics?

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Today, I tripped and fell into the campfire. I got burned pretty bad. FML
Today, my daughter finally got a date. Then the guy clobbered her with a hammer. FML
Today, I died, but I pursed my lips and whistled just before I drew my terminal breath. FML
Today, someone broke into Annie's house. She is NOT ok. FML
Today, I found out that the angels were actually aliens. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my feel and my rhythm. I just kept losing my beat. FML
Today, I got in a fight and my mom sent me to live with some relatives I barely know. FML
Today, some hick in Georgia beat me in a play-off. Now I can't take his soul. FML
Today, I overheard that you might be cheating on me. How much longer will you be mine? FML
Today, I chopped off my testicles and crashed into the sun. FML
Today, I was bested in pinball by some little handicapped kid. And I thought I was the king! FML
Today, I got stranded on an island. I sent out an S.O.S. but nobody has found it yet. FML
Today, I'm going home again, but I thinks its a sin. FML
Today, I thought of a perfect world. Alas, I was just a dreamer. FML

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