| Cause | Illness | Cure |
| Sniffing cheese and drinking unpurified rainwater | |
| Prolonged exposure to the moon | |
| Caused by the spirit of the King entering the patient's mind and taking over | |
| Cause - Being bitten by a radioactive (and invisible) ant | |
| Mistaking plutonium isotopes for chewing gum | |
| Chronic overdiscussion of soap operas | |
| Face huggers equipped with intelligent alien blood | |
| Falling off high things onto concrete | |
| Telling lies and making up stories to be popular | |
| Tiny insects with sharp teeth | |
| Gelatin-rich diet and too much exercise | |
| Overactive sleep gland in the roof of the mouth | |
| Licking the yogurt from the foil tops of opened pots | |
| Small particles of snot in the air | |
| Using a gymnasium treadmill after a meal | |
| Sitting on cold stone floors | |
| Crunching up ice cubes in drinks | |