Buffy vs. Angel

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'Ready Randy?' 'Ready Joan'
'Of course the cavemen win.'
'That's enough of the creepy small talk. We're looking for a monster.'
'You little firecracker!'
'Sweetie, your epidermis is showing.'
'You hit me!' 'Not to go all schoolyard on you, but you hit me first.'
'Ciao.' 'Ciao.'
'So, where's tall, dark and forehead?'
'Seriously man, did you miss the invention of the bath?'
'And I think I'm kinda gay.'
'They're gonna eat you up with a spoon because you're so scrumptious!'
'Oh but the little hands!'
'Well, personally, I kinda wanna slay the dragon.'
'I don't get a goodbye just because I went crazy and tried to rip your throat out while we were having sex?'
'I'm gettin' the brush off for Captain Peroxide. It doesn't necessarily bring out the champion in me.'
'What are you doing here? Five words or less.' 'Out. For. A. Walk...B*tch.'
'Is that it. Am I done?'
'I'm sorry I almost ate you.'
'I've made a little space for the cheese slices.'
'Try it, Red, and you lose and arm.'
'You walk alone!'
'Yeah, like those Manilow concerts. You son of a b*tch.'
'Want beer!'
'When did morning happen?' 'After the moon went down.'
QuoteWho said it?Show
'You filthy little ponce! Are you afraid of a little demon?'
'Oh, you mean an orgasm friend.'
'Grab your magic bone.'
'No. His head's too full of you, Grandmother.' 'Stop calling me that.'
'It's about power.'
'Would you like me to lie to you now?'
'Not now, Mommy's talking.'
'Batten down the hatches. Here comes hurricane Buffy.'
'You're a bloody puppet!'
'Whatever. The point is, I haven't broken a sweat. See, in the end, xxxxx's just the runner up. I'm the queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?'
'You had two eggs sunny side up. I remember because they were wiggling at me like little boobs.'
'You make sure to tell him that.'
'Good night, folks.'
'And I'm supposed to help you out of the evilness of my heart?'
'We don't groove with the 'sorry'. We prefer 'Oh God, please stop hitting me with my own rib bones'.'
'...promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, ah, but NOT to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are...'
'I flayed a guy alive and tried to destroy the world.'
'She got away.' 'We tried to stop her by hitting her fist and feet with our faces.'
'You are strange and off-putting. Go now.'
'Men like sports. I'm sure of it.'
'You kill me? A flunky?'
'I gave birth to a pterodactyl.'
'You're the one who sees everthing, aren't you? Well let's see what we can do about that.'
'Nothing can defeat the penis!'
QuoteWho said it?Show
'You know I was cool before I met y'all.'
'Well, get ready to haul your wrinkly, transulcent ass out of this place, cause lady, the b*tch is back.'
'Five by five.'
'I love you.' 'No you don't. But thanks for sayin' it.'
'Run and catch, run and catch, the lamb is caught in the blackberry patch.'
'Where'd you get the police radio?' 'Police car.' 'Oh, dear!'
'Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up, and he's bloody stupid.'
'You drop by for a cup of coffee and the world's not ending? Please.'
'So, um, are you still...'Grr'?' 'Yeah, there's not actually a cure for that.'
'A muscle cramp...in your pants?'
'It's my boys.'
'We're fugitives, haunted by our past, tormented by a message we don't understand.'
'When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope you need someone that you can count on. And that's what you'll find here.'
'I'm OK. Be cooler if we could score some weed, though.'
'Bored now.'
'It's not just saving lives, it's saving souls.'
'Angel?' 'Hmm?' 'Do you snore?'
'Yeah, that was real manly how you shrieked and all.'
'Sleep my love, and peace attend thee...All Through The Night.'
'Handsom man saved me from the monsters.'
'I think somebody needs a hug!'
'Don't look at me. This is a Summers' thing. It's all very violent.'

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