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TV Shows on a First-Name Basis
'One time at summer camp I kissed a girl on a dare, but then she drowned.'
'Popcorn? At the cinema?'
'I’m not a creative type like you, with your work sneakers and your left-handedness.'
'Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Aaack!'
'Those ice cream saps will rue the day they ever tangled with The Best Friends Gang.'
'You always know you're at the right party when it feels like the Riddler is about to attack.'
'That's it! I quit! This racket is a fart, and you cheat! You're a cheating bitch!'
'I normally work long crazy hours. But I’m on leave for...normal reasons.'
'But there is a new thing called “Women’s Liberation” which gives women a right to choose and you have chosen to abort me.'
'Oh my, what an adorable little lesbian!'
'A drinking contest? What am I, twelve and at my boyfriend's frat party?'
'Objects are made by men for many purposes. But we never love objects.'
'Better than hot pizza? That's insane.' 'You don't tell me what kind of pizza to like!'
'I don't like that dude. I don't like that dude.'
'Oh, no! Did a Korean person die?'
'Imagine Christmas wishes, shooting out of your eyes. A candy cane for of snow dreams a stocking full of smiles. It’s a Jordan Christmas!'
'These things happen, Liz. I had my no sex with Asians rule, but one day you walk into Sharper Image and there’s Kwan.'
'A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy’s.'
'We know what art is! It's paintings of horses!'
'Wouldn’t be a Lemon party without old Dick!'
'Yeah, we’re all models west of the Allegheny.'
'Hi. I was told I’d get paid if I came here and danced while the Atlanta Hawks ate dinner?'
'Hey, Liz, how's the telescope?' 'I don't know, Kelsey, how's your mom's pill addiction?'
'Oh, so you’re the only person in the world who’s allowed to make sex mistakes? You had a three way with Rosanne and Tom Arnold!' 'That was two years ago!'
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