Can You Finish The Eddie Izzard Line?

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Can you name the Rest of the Eddie Izzard Lines from 'Definite Article'??

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Beginning...
.These trousers, press a button,
‘Cause my Gran said, “Put a thimble on your finger, and it helps you, in case you slip with a needle, the needle goes up, and
Hello, we’re murderers.
“Oh, we’re way down in weaponry,
The best thing with thimbles is to put one on each finger, and then you can
Oh, the hair thieves! The hair thieves, they come in the night… Steal your hair, they do!
“Buy Mr. Dog, for small, yappy-type dogs…
And it’s also lucky, horseshoes are lucky! And horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the
Oh, emergency joke: two men went into a pub… and
Five run, one sauntered, really… one drove a small car… one windsurfed, one

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