If Facebook existed way back when...

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Can you name the people in history according to their facebook status updates?

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One of the most significant assassinations in history, and all I get is a band named after me? Whatever!
Everyone knows of me for cutting it off. Hello - I paint stuff too you know!!!!
I can't believe the Yankees sold me to the Braves. I did everything I could to escape Boston
No other chicks have got their pics on any notes. I am the best, I am the best...
I really wanted to play 'Twinkle Twinkle', but those damn hippies made me play the National Anthem
Sent another million packing today. The country's feeling more Aryan already
So I stepped on his foot. What's he going to do, cut my head off?
OMG they embalmed me? How will my Argentinians cry for me if I look like a mummy?
So Mark wants to chill with me tomorrow. He never wants to chill. There must be something special about the Ides of March
Getting beatified by PJP tomorrow. If only I was around to party with the rest of the crew
No one told me that when I took this job I'd end up freezing my ass off in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Should have become a pilot, not a ship captain!
When I carved that swastika into my head, I didn't think it'd still be visible 40 years later!
Hmm what to do today? Play with the corgies, hang out with Phil...oh and yeah, become Queen!
I may have proposed mass–energy equivalence, but I think my greatest achievement was my rockin' haircut!

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