Ninja That Aren't Very Good Ninja

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Can you name the ninjas based on these descriptions of why they wouldn't be very good actual ninjas?

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Why they would fail as an actual ninjaNinjaGame
Unable to let go of his past life / Risks life in public battle in order to win mediocre weapon / Refuses to work without his dog
Clumsy / Wastes magical ninja guardians given to her by grandfather / Betrays mission, joining the Chosen instead of assassinating her
Use non-traditional weapons, such as bones and clubs / Wear nothing but grass skirts and leaves / Exist in time before ninjutsu invented
Loud, obnoxious, yells names of attacks / Wears neon orange clothing / Places higher priority on friends than on mission
Willingly sheathes weapon during combat / Shiny metallic body ill-suited for stealth / Displays masochistic tendencies when facing old rival
Constantly dresses in overly skimpy outfits / Habit of muttering 'nyuk nyuk' when being sneaky / Captured and used as bait by fat, lecherous 'Don'
Dresses in bright yellow / Leaves easily-followed trail of flaming skeletons in wake / Tendency to telegraph attacks by yelling 'Get over here'
Inappropriate attire: long, billowing, red scarf / Choice of weapon is a glowing sword that slowly kills him
Dresses in garish clothing / Attempts to hide behind bightly-colored flag / Uses unconventional weapons created by sticking sword handles in random things, such as a cactus
Wears bright blue and white outfit / Hastily removes disguise before assuring own safety, resulting in capture by enemy / Carries musical instrument instead of extra weapon
Kills in highly gory instead of stealthy manner / Uses non-traditional weapons such as giant sword and scythe / Travels by airship while in ninja attire
Brash, hot-headed, gets self injured often / Overly flirtatious / Refuses to kill parents, even though they have been turned into monsters

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