Missing Word: Ron Swanson

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Can you name the missing words in these quotes from Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson?

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QuoteMissing Word
Never half ass two things, _____ ass one thing.
In my experience, _______ presents are nothing but kindling on a divorce bonfire.
It reminds me of when my dad made me choose which of my two calves to slaughter with my own hands for my sixth ________. I couldn't choose. So, I slaughtered both of them.
No ____ is complete without a proper toolbox.
There's been a mistake. You've accidentally given me the ____ that my food eats.
When I eat it is the food that is ______.
Leslie wanted to hire a contractor to build the stage. I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent, _____.
For what it's _____, I think you'd make an incredible brunette. Ron Swanson.
This room has several paintings in it. Some are big. Some are small. ______ did them, and they are here now.
I have _____ twice in my life. Once, when I was seven when I was hit by a school bus and the other when I had heard L'il Sebastian had passed.
My first ex-wife's name is Tammy, my second ex-wife's name is Tammy, and my ____ name is Tamara. She goes by Tammy.
I value education, so I don't want to see Andy waste his time in _______.
No, my other ex-wife Tammy. Tammy ___. I have 228 personal days starting now, and I'm using all of them.
Every year, I give Leslie the same _______ I give everyone. A crisp $20 bill.
Either we complete a government _______, with is abhorrent to me, or we bring a new person into the department, which repulses me to my core.
When I saw the ____ was at half mast, I said 'All right, another bureaucrat ate it.'
Leslie, NO! We use that stuff to ____ warts off mules!
When people get too chummy with me, I like to ____ them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
Of all my coworkers, he is one of a small number whom I do not actively ____ against. There I go getting all sappy.
Clear alcohols are for rich women on _____.
On my first day of college, my father dropped me off at the _____ mill. He didn't think I should go to college.
This might be the _____ time I've ever wanted to attend an event.
They teach kids that not only government is good but that there should be a worldwide super-government. I'd rather sand down my ________.
I've been getting a lot of visitors recently, thanks to a stupid, worthless new push to make __________ officials more accessible.
Anyone want to go to JJ's for some _____ dinner omelets?

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Created Mar 10, 2013ReportNominate
Tags:quote, park, recreation, ron