- Good morning detectives, I'm collecting money for the Policeman's ball. - We don't have balls.
Hang on, Doogie. Where'd you get that
Or perhaps you're referring to my license to kill. Revoked. Trouble at the Kazakhstan border. I'd give you the details but then I'd have to kill you,
The spirits tell me
- Hey, we found prints. - Was he in a red Corvette? - Under the cherry moon?
I thought I told you no.
I need to get something off my chest.
Remember, Dad, you treat a woman like a person, then a princess, then a goddess, then
I'm Shawn Spenstar and this is my partner, Gus 'TT' Showbiz.
- Brazilian airport codes. How do you know that? - I lived in an airport for a month, Gus.
- I'm a man of untold mystery. That's why my friends call me G. - Ha. That's funny.
[leans in very closely] Are you busy on Saturday?
Gus, don't be exactly
- I had no idea you were so serious about bowling. - Quite serious, quite serious.
Besides, this is a real-life television studio, Gus. What could be better?
- So now I have a cat? - An orange tabby.
- It has come to my attention, detective, that you've discharged your weapons in the last four cases you've worked. - Thank you. - That wasn't a compliment. -I'm just trying to keep the streets safe.
- Well, let me go on record as saying that I would never shoot a cat. - I guess I can find some solace in that. - Unless it was approaching me in a threatening manner, or refused to stop upon my command.
-There is a Lieutenant Crunch here to see you. - Crunch?
I can't spend the night in the museum. I don't have my toothbrush, I don't have my multivitamins, and oh yeah,
- Shawn? What the heck are you doing here? - I should ask you the same question. - I work here!
- How much further to this place? - Fifty, sixty miles. - Sixty miles? And you didn't get me a donut?
- Dude. Some guy in a wolf costume with a light saber just said hi to you. - I don't know that guy. - He looked right at you. - He was mistaken. - He said, 'Hi, Gus.'
- Are you crazy? - I wouldn't say crazy.
- The important thing is that you got your cover story. - Actually, it's page 64.
- I have a foolproof plan that solves the case and gives the chief all the credit. - What is it? - Actually, all I have is the phrase 'I have a foolproof plan.'
Great, now you've got me kicked out of a funeral. Just add it to the list. Kicked out of PetSmart, kicked out of Santa's village, kicked out of Salvation Army...
How can you tell someone's a compulsive liar?
- Dont you watch the news? - I can't watch Channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee.
- Do you want to know my process? - Absolutely. - Well, it starts with a holla! and ends with a Creamsicle.