| Your Team Sucks | Your Team |
|---|
| Your fans act like they've won something in their lifetimes. Yet somehow your coach pisses everyone off even more. Please shut up. All of you. Now. | |
| Remember when your team was awesome? Of course not, because everyone who saw them is dead now. At least you have LeBron. Wait, you don't? LOL. | |
| Your owner refuses to die despite his stellar ability to find great quarterbacks and you make your fans want to consume fatal quantities of purple drank. | |
| You lost one awful franchise and replaced it with another. Even the Bills embarrassed your city. | |
| Your superstar is a choker and his commercials suck. | |
| Your coach is insane and everyone hates your quarterback. Enough of the denial, they both suck. | |
| If your quarterback gets crushed and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? | |
| Every time you think you've found a horrible, soul crushing way to choke in the playoffs, your team comes up with a new one. Still enjoying that new football team? | |
| | Your Team Sucks | Your Team |
|---|
| Yay, you had that amazing season, like, 40 years ago. Please shut up now. Or die, whichever comes first. | |
| You found someone who sucked even more than JaMarcus Russell. Congratulations. | |
| You've written the book on humiliation and your rallying cry is to get people to feel sorry for you. | |
| Everyone felt sorry for your city ten years ago. Now they hate you. Oh yeah, you cheated. | |
| You're trying to mimic the Patriots. You're failing miserably. | |
| You like your old team more than your new team and you won't stop whining about it. Move on. Your quarterback is ugly. | |
| Your team preaches honesty and moral values - unless it hurts their chances of winning, of course. Rapers gonna rape. | |
| No one brags about wild card teams quite like you do. Joe Montana loves you guys. | |
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