Television / Peter Griffin or Patrick Star

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Can you name the source to these words of wisdom: Peter Griffin (G) or Patrick Star (S)?

Updated Jul 12, 2012

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QuoteGriffin(G) or Star (S)
You'll have to compress your body to the size of an ordinary household sponge and slide underneath like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin.
Do you accept bits of string?
Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on!
I thought the Corps would help me straighten out my life sir!
I've been selling buttscratchers. Buttscratcher?!
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
C'mon, you know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, me, wumbo. Wumbo, wumboing, Wilhem B. Wumbo, Wumbowama Wumbology. The study of wumbo, it's first grade (friend).
Since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.
Everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
If I was a mom, this would be kind of shocking. Just call me Daddy!
The inner mechanations of my mind are an enigma.
I had no idea they had a hot tub!
Could you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.
QuoteGriffin(G) or Star (S)
You know, it’s not as easy as it looks. Sometimes I gotta move the antenna, sometimes I lose the remote, and sometimes my butt itches real bad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (Friend), this isn't my Batman glass.
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split. And then one of you die.
I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
It would take more than some masking tape to fix that guy.
I can't see my forehead.
Pretty good, (friend), but it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
Hmm...I've got it! Let's get naked!
What street said that? Was it this one? Mind your own business!
Since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'.
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON!
I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz, uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.

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