Television / Peter Griffin or Patrick Star

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Can you name the source to these words of wisdom: Peter Griffin (G) or Patrick Star (S)?

Updated Jul 12, 2012

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QuoteGriffin(G) or Star (S)
Pretty good, (friend), but it's lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
I turned the stairs into a waterslide!
You'll have to compress your body to the size of an ordinary household sponge and slide underneath like some kind of weird amphibious dolphin.
I got an idea, an idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
Everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.
I had no idea they had a hot tub!
Things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
I've been selling buttscratchers. Buttscratcher?!
I can't see my forehead.
Since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.
Could you move it along? I'm all out of time cards.
They look at me and see a loser. Except that guy with the lazy eye... He sees a loser and a snack machine.
Hmm...I've got it! Let's get naked!
I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz, uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split. And then one of you die.
QuoteGriffin(G) or Star (S)
You know, it’s not as easy as it looks. Sometimes I gotta move the antenna, sometimes I lose the remote, and sometimes my butt itches real bad.
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
If I was a mom, this would be kind of shocking. Just call me Daddy!
The inner mechanations of my mind are an enigma.
What street said that? Was it this one? Mind your own business!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. (Friend), this isn't my Batman glass.
I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.
C'mon, you know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, me, wumbo. Wumbo, wumboing, Wilhem B. Wumbo, Wumbowama Wumbology. The study of wumbo, it's first grade (friend).
I thought the Corps would help me straighten out my life sir!
Since when did they change the meaning of 'for' to 'from'.
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.
Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on!
We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking here, WE STOLE A BALLOON!
Do you accept bits of string?
It would take more than some masking tape to fix that guy.

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