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Movie By Blurb (2012)
Can you pick the 2012 movie based on a blurb from one of its reviews?
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Anyone but George Washington
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The name of the reviewer is listed after her/his review blurb.
'A beautiful, strange tone poem about childhood and innocence.'
'A canny Obama-era blockbuster, feeding equally into rightwing fears of the unwashed mashes and leftwing anger at the dominance of the much loathed one-percent.'
'A genuinely moving exploration of a complex mother-daughter relationship.'
'A hilarious and charming action comedy. Think Superbad meets Revenge of the Nerds!'
'A mind-blowing horror-show cocktail of gods, movie monsters and mythology.'
'Anyone who has seen Dream Girls, What's Love Got To Do With It? or even The Doors will find themselves in familiar (if inferior) territory here.'
'Captures the grand sweep and often ridiculous theatricality of both soap operas and gothic romance.'
'Further evidence that dog owners are mentally ill people hiding in plain sight.'
'Gah, bare flesh pecs on screen drool cup need quick!!'
'Have you ever wondered what mumblecore sci-fi would look like? Wonder no more.'
'I don't know diddly about chess, and I still loved it.'
'In space, everyone can hear you try too hard.'
'It's a surprisingly compassionate look at two people: A lost sheep and his shepherd.'
'It's like 'Punk'd' with superpowers.'
'Kind of a reverse-'Terminator' without any of James Cameron's wit (or wisdom).'
[Michael A. Smith]
'Misery-style uber-fandom meets David Icke conspiracy freakery.'
'Moviegoers may feel they've been invited to an Indian restaurant where the buffet consists of white bread and boiled potatoes.'
'Never underestimate the entertainment value of the Hulk Smash.'
'Partly a cautionary tale about the dangers of decades of bodybuilding and partly a throwback to the good old days of the Reagan era.'
'Possibly the best John Woo film that John Woo never made.'
'Pour some sugar on it, indeed.'
'Seriously, if this was the American Dream, couldn't we have come up with something better?'
'Sure this entry is a ripoff of 'Battle Royale,' but it's still an entertaining ride with great casting.'
'The divide between childhood and adolescence as a nature stroll.'
[Fernando F. Croce]
'The finished film is like a repeat of the chicken dinner you had the night before but with different seasoning.'
'The Great Emancipator as the Great Decapitator makes for just so much B-movie schlock.'
'The jokes are built almost entirely around references to old black and white horror movies.'
'The movieland satire is laid on thick, but it's also deadly accurate.'
'This little-green-men mash-up shows that in space, no one can hear you laugh.'
'Warning: this film contains scenes of incest, masturbation, gerontophilia, statutory rape and Adam Sandler.'
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Created Nov 4, 2012
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