SNL Weekend Update Sign-Offs

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Can you name the SNL Weekend Update Sign-Offs?

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How to Play
'That's the news, goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.'
'Good night and watch out.'
'That's the news, and I am outta here!'
'I'm _____, and that's news to me'
'That's the way it is.'
I'm ____, that's my story and I'm sticking to it

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